‘We miss him’ – Gary Speed Cup honours Wales great

As Carol Speed ponders her thoughts, her voice gently swayes away. Her son, former manager and captain of Wales, took his own life 14 years ago. These conversations can’t be made easy by any means.

The pain is not completely gone, but it gradually gets less painful. We talk about the people we have lost in order to carry their memory, and they continue to stay in our minds.

Although sharing that level of grief can bring comfort to those who have experienced it is unique.

Due to the much-loved former Premier League player Gary Speed, who had a significant impact on Welsh football, who was Carol’s son, she has had to deal with much of her grief in public.

Since his 2011 passing, Speed has been honored in numerous ways, from street murals to songs playing on the terraces.

The Cwpan Gary Speed, or Gary Speed Cup, is a tournament that the Football Association of Wales (FAW) has now named after him.

A short drive from Speed’s childhood home in Flintshire, Colwyn Bay hosted the first game of the international youth competition.

“It’s unbelievable that people still remember him and the impact he had,” Carol says.

Carol most values those tributes to her son’s character over his accomplishments as a parent.

As Speed’s friends and former team-mates share their memories of the man who many of them knew as “Speedo” during the poignancy and sporadic sombre moments on a sun-kissed evening in Colwyn Bay, there are smiles and laughter.

Former Wales captains Kevin Ratcliffe and Craig Bellamy, both of whom are now the head coaches of the national team, are among those present.

Both Cledwyn Ashford and Speed’s former youth team-mates, who coached him as a boy more than 50 years ago, are present.

“It’s a very emotional night. I can recall the time Gary’s death was announced. Ashford says, “It broke my heart,” wiping in his eyes as tears flow.

He was a unique individual. When I think of the nine-year-old boy who represented me at Deeside Primary Schools and demonstrated his abilities as both a football player and as a person.

Five members of the 1980-1981 school team are present with us. We have been cut from that team by three other people. It’s sad in that way, but it’s a great evening to remember them and also to honor Gary and the other four men who lived their lives.

Wales Under-16s players make their way onto the field to warm up before facing Japan in their first game of the Gary Speed Cup as Bellamy and Ashford cross over for a photo shoot with a group of local schoolchildren.

Leading their team in a tournament held in someone’s memory is particularly meaningful, according to Adrian Harvie, their head coach.

Emilia, his daughter, passed away in September 2019 from the incredibly rare Alexander disease at the age of eight.

Every day, I consider those thoughts. So, like many others, I’m living with that every day, Harvie says.

“I’ve always wanted to be someone who’s defined by how I handled and handled it, not by my daughter’s death. I’m winning this battle, which is ongoing and happening every day.

It’s the same as how many other people experience trauma and how they approach it.

Wales lose to Japan on penalties, and their final opponent, Northern Ireland, will win the inaugural Cwpan Gary Speed.

Results are of equal importance in a developmental competition like this, though.

According to Harvie, “The tournament is first and foremost about Gary and making sure we put on a fitting tribute to such a wonderful human being.”

“A secondly, it’s about the players making sure we perform well, so by the end of that camp, they have learned a lot, they have found it to be really challenging, but they have most importantly enjoyed it.

So yeah, there will be some things to think about about me, but Gary and his legacy will be the focus of the tournament rather than me.

Harvie, who was born in England but is honorary Welsh, always enjoys singing the anthem.

After meeting both sets of players and receiving flowers as the anthems play, Carol Speed, who holds the flowers close to her as she stands by the Wales dugout.

This tournament will be remembered by her son, who forever altered Welsh football.

Carol says, “It’s remarkable that people are still remembering him and continuing to do this,”

We genuinely thought of him positively, but everyone else did as well. We didn’t realize this until after he passed away.