Strictly Come Dancing creative director Arlene Phillips has revealed some of her struggles throughout her life, including taking care of both of her parents.
From West End musicals to Strictly Come Dancing, Dame Arlene Phillips has always been a woman with the right moves. And while the choreographer is now 82, she remains a force on the dance floor as one of the creative minds behind a stunning new production of Andrew Lloyd Webber’s Starlight Express.
For a woman steeped in dance, she never stops. “I recently choreographed a wedding dance for two friends and I couldn’t help but get up on the dance floor and join them even though my knees are ruined from years of dancing,” she chuckles. “Dancing makes you feel good and it has given me an amazing life working with some incredible people.”
Dance not only keeps Arlene mentally and physically fit, it’s long been a form of escape during some of the most difficult and challenging times of her life. These include tirelessly caring for her late parents, Rita and Abraham, who died of leukaemia and Alzheimer’s respectively.
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New research reveals the UK’s 5.8 million unpaid caregivers are facing a hidden health crisis themselves, with more than half reporting a decline in their physical or mental health due to their responsibilities. And that’s why Arlene encouraged carers to prioritise their own health during last week’s Caring for Caregivers week.
She claims that caring for a loved one is one of the most challenging roles that anyone can perform, both mentally and physically. Millions of unpaid carers “work tirelessly, sacrificing their own needs to care for others, losing sleep, their own interests, and socializing as a result of their responsibilities.”
Arlene, the daughter of a barber and a housewife, has always wanted to dance in Prestwich, Lancashire, and has always wanted to be a ballet dancer.
She recalls that she and my older brother Ian and younger sister Karen were from a very poor family. When my mother got leukaemia at the age of 15, she wanted me to stay away from school to look after her because she didn’t know what it actually was. Because my brother was studying and my father wasn’t well at the time, I took care of my mother, washed her, and looked after the house. Due to how much I had missed it, it was difficult for me to return to school. I had to go somewhere.
Arlene firmly argued that she should keep Saturdays for herself, and that she should have used the money earned from a paper round to pay for her own dance classes.
However, Arlene ended up rejecting her request to miss her dance class when her mother asked her to miss her. One of the others, she says, “had to do it because I didn’t want to miss dancing.”
“That guilt, which so many carers experience, has persisted to this day. I once worked as one of the many child carers in the UK.
Three months after receiving her diagnosis, Rita passed away at the age of 43. Arlene was immediately sent back to school because she couldn’t attend her funeral.
Despite this, she was once more forced to take care of herself as an adult when her father Abraham, who had suffered from blood clots while her mother was dying, received an Alzheimer’s disease diagnosis. After battling the illness for more than ten years, he eventually passed away at the age of 89.
Apart from me, Arlene says, “He didn’t want anyone coming into the flat to look after him.” “People with dementia can be very afraid,” said one patient. He had a false sense of security about his home. He wouldn’t let me in on things like meals on wheels, which I had planned.
So it was my responsibility to take care of him, as it frequently happens when there are so many dependant families looking after their loved ones who are dementia patients. I spent ten years trying to put him in a care facility, but I finally had to. There is a guilt-carer feeling that I was exhausted and broken by it.
She finally acknowledges the value of self-care. She asserts that it is crucial to take time to take care of oneself when caring for a parent, a child, or both. Senior parents take care of their adult children when they have early-onset dementia.
Exhaustion, fatigue or poor sleep, anxiety, stress or feeling overwhelmed, depression, guilt, and back, joint or muscle pain are common among the health issues that caregivers deal with.
One in six carers claim to have given up dancing, which they once did for fun, according to the research conducted by supplement brand GOPO® Joint Health. Our wellbeing is improved by engaging in movement or dance, even just putting on your favorite song and moving around it, says Arlene. For me, it has always had.
Arlene wants to spend more time with her two granddaughters, Emme Bow, four, and Lila Primrose, six, despite not intending to retire. She wants to concentrate on the campaign for Caring for Caregivers in addition to her granny duties.
She says, “My goal is to raise awareness of the incredible work that unpaid carers do while, at the same time, inspire them to take positive actions to improve their own wellbeing.”
Arlene has survived some challenging circumstances as a carer, but her success is ultimately tinged with regret because of her stellar career and fulfilling family life.
She continues, “I do wish my mother had been here to see my success.” Because she was the first to inspire me to dance, it was her own passion.
Go to gopo for more information. Independent chemists and retailers are available nationwide for GOPO® Joint Health. . uk
Source: Mirror
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