Hiba al-Yazji and her husband Mohammad have endured hell and reincarnation in recent years. Different family members were killed in Israeli attacks, and they have lost dozens. They no longer reside in them. They have repeatedly been forced to relocate. They are now anticipating what the future holds for them and their 10-year-old daughter Iman.
Just one day before Israeli attacks threatened to scuttle the ceasefire, the family returned to northern Gaza last Saturday.
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Hiba claims that she was sorting through the items she had gathered near her tent when she heard distant explosions and wondered if the conflict had broken out. The family would likely have to travel back to the south, making repeat trips throughout the conflict.
As she sat atop the sand mound where her family’s tent was pitched, Hiba told Al Jazeera, “We honestly don’t understand anything any more.”
killed in a family
Since last Sunday’s intense fighting, when at least 42 people were killed by Israel, the ceasefire has largely been in place.
However, Hiba and Mohammad’s future uncertainty is understandable given how severely they have suffered over the past two years.
When the conflict broke out, the couple had resided in northern Gaza. However, that choice cost them a lot less than two months afterward.
My entire family, including my mother and siblings, disappeared. She cried as Mohammad sat beside her in silence, his eyes red, as he explained that my husband, who is also my cousin, had lost his entire family.
Their four-story family home in the Sheikh Radwan neighborhood of Gaza City, which also provided shelter for several relatives who had fled to other regions, was bombed on December 3, 2023.
Only the only survivors who were saved from beneath the rubble were Hiba, Mohammad, their daughter Iman, and Hiba’s younger brother, who all suffered minor injuries.
60 members of their extended family were killed in the strike.
My mother, father, my six siblings, their spouses, and their children were all left out of my entire family, according to my mother, father, and I. My wife’s family includes her parents, siblings, and children. All of my uncles and their families were murdered, according to Mohammad.
Mohammad lost 36 relatives, including those of his parents, six of his siblings, and their wives and children.
In the same strike, Hiba lost her parents, four siblings, and two nieces.

buried with a deceased brother
To complicate matters further, Hiba’s younger brother, who survived the initial attack, was killed a month later in particularly agonizing circumstances.
After the initial attack, Hiba and Mohammad had moved into a house where Israeli tanks had advanced close to their relative’s residence.
We hid in the basement of a nearby house with my husband, my daughter, and my brother. The tanks were firing at anyone moving at the time. My brother was shot in the backwards.
As she went on, Hiba wept out.
“We dragged my injured brother to the ground so the tanks wouldn’t see us, or we all would die.” My brother bled in front of me for four days straight before he died. I was unable to cry, scream, or move. Because the tanks surrounded us, I was unable to call for assistance.
Her voice trembled as she said, “His body stayed with us, beside us, for four more days while we were trapped.”
No food, water, or anything else. However, fear was such a complete force that we couldn’t imagine anything else. We were “waiting to pass away at any moment.”
The family moved out of their hiding place and dug up her brother’s body nearby when the tanks finally withdrew.
Do you believe we still want to live, after all this? Hiba pressed, her tears freely leaking.

Bulldozed graves
The suffering Hiba and Mohammad have endured is almost incomprehensible to an outsider. They can’t just move on from the war, even though it has been declared over.
She said, “I wanted to die.” Like branches being ripped off of a tree, my husband and I. We endure intolerable pain. I wish we had also been hit. It feels like punishment to survive.
As Israeli tanks approached in Gaza City in September, the couple left the area and headed south. But they discovered that life was intolerable in the displacement camps, far from everything they knew.
And they made a decision to return after the Israeli advance on Gaza City was halted due to the ceasefire.
Nothing, however, made them aware of what they would discover.
“My wife’s family’s home, which we recently moved into, was destroyed, as well. Our cars and our wedding venue business all fell apart, according to Mohammad, whose family owned real estate in Gaza.
The couple’s biggest shock was when they learned that their relatives’ graves had been bulldozed and their remains had been dispersed close to their home.
With his finger pointed to a levelled patch of sand, Hiba said, “Imagine spending the entire night collecting the remains of our loved ones, those we buried with our own hands.”
“My family and some of my husband’s are lying here. I repeatedly advise passing passengers not to cross them.
She cried once more. This healed a wound that had never healed. During the war, my heart broke. No life or nerves are left in me. My parents were rescued from the rubble by me. Without a head, my mother was. The body of my young nephew was ripped apart.
“The rest of my husband’s bodies are still missing,” my husband continues. Their remains are still buried beneath the rubble, she said, pointing to the nearby, demolished building where their final tent is now abutting.

What follows?
We are now just bodies without souls, said Mohammad mumbling softly. The crossings will open immediately if I stay alive. There is no existence in this place.
No water, no electricity, no services, just destruction all over. Beyond the imagination’s wildest thoughts. What is the proper way of life?
It’s fragile and meaningless, according to the so-called ceasefire that is being discussed. Every moment, according to Mohammad, Israel abstains from it.
Hiba nodded in agreement. She claimed that her only hope is the future of her daughter, one of her last remaining children.
“My daughter hasn’t attended school in three years. She has watched her uncle pass away in front of her, been pulled from under the rubble, and repeatedly fled. How is her mind recovering? What does she have for the future?”
She has seen enough, she claimed. She simply needs a better life, please.
When questioned about his fear of a repeat of the war, Mohammad yelled bitterly.
“I won’t move this time,” I said. I’ll actually die here if it returns. In any case, there is no life or future left. I’d rather die with my family if the war never really came to an end.
Hiba and Mohammad frequently share their grief and are unable to explain why this happened.
Source: Aljazeera

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