Will the newly minted Andy and Sarah from Windsor, who have already spent their first week without royal titles, accept their new D-list status? Jessica Boulton, a columnist for the Daily Mirror, takes a deep dive into a scandalous showbiz week.
There’s been no shortage of surprise announcements, shocking departures and life-changing decisions affecting celebland of late. And this week, it was the now-plain-old Andy and Sarah, from Windsor, who were waking up to their “new normal”.
For, in 2025, no big status change ever feels truly real, until that dreaded moment you’re forced to make it – drum roll please – “Social Media Official”. And for Andy and Sarah, that joy came on Monday.
First, the web team at Buckingham Palace was extremely busy removing all references to Andrew’s now-defunct Duke of York title from official royal websites.
And then, Fergie had to follow suit and change her X handle from the lofty “SarahTheDuchess” to a rather more modest and nondescript “SarahMFergie15”. Ouch.
All this, and at the same time, PM Keir Starmer was also calling for Andrew to appear before MPs to justify the peppercorn fee he pays for The Royal Lodge.
The former couple must now put pressure on themselves to find a new source of income. And I have some very difficult news to break to them because they no longer hold the titles of Duke and Duchess.
BORING OLD D-LISTERS is now officially the most feared thing in showbizland.
Yes, they are too well-known to leave their mark, but they are too unpopular to appear on Family-Friendly Strictly.
That leaves them with three potential revenue streams: staring all day at Celebrity Big Brother (which might fit nicely with their skill set), stifling their attacks on Celebrity Traitors (perhaps a little too close), or attempting to reclaim a royal title from I’m A Celeb.
In any case, it’s fair to say that low rent is no longer just their home.
Too much ? Tuesday
The Spice Girls have apparently implemented their special “rule of four” to push forward with a planned Netflix biopic in time for their 30th anniversary of Wannabe next year. Surprisingly it was Geri Horner who was the holdout on the project – but thanks to a non-legally binding pact the Spices made a few eons ago, the others have been able to push the deal through.
With Robbie Williams, Queen, The Beatles and Elton John all having had biopics in the last few years, you would’ve thought “Look At Me” singer Geri would’ve been gagging to inject a little Girl Power into the pop drama trend.
Why, then, did she lose interest? Some have suggested that this is because of Christian Horner’s scandal last year, which was already affecting her marriage.
But I have a sneaky feeling it was something else. A fear about which famous faces may audition to play her, perhaps?..Although from a sneak peek at these EastEnders’ hopefuls, I’d say Posh is in a far more Dyer situation…
Woah ! Tuesday
Most 12-year-old girls love to play dress-up. But when your dad’s Kanye West and your mum’s Kim Kardashian, I guess you feel the pressure to continually push the envelope.
And this week, North West, age 12, has undoubtedly given her an intriguing direction.
For real, North has chosen that oh-so-appropriate pre-teen look, “Post Malone meets prison inmate,” aka facial tattoos and a not-so-seyful diamond grill, instead of jewels and glam like her mother.
No, it doesn’t appear to be Halloween-themed.
Mind you, you can’t really blame North for losing her way, sartorially.
Not after mommy dearest gave us this shock ensemble last weekend at the LA Academy Museum Gala.
A designer should be content with this appearance for one reason only.
When the red carpet experiences a muted response. They won’t have to look in the eye at their client.
Last dance on Thursday
Talk about a Strictly bombshell! Tess Daly and Claudia Winkleman sent social media into a supernova of a meltdown on Thursday, after posting their joint resignation video on Instagram.
At the conclusion of the series, the pair announced that they would permanently say ta ta, or cha cha, to the show. They believed it was time to pass on the “sparkly baton.”
Claudia has been part of the team since 2014, but Tess has racked up a showstopping 21 years – and bizarrely somehow looks not a day older than when she first started alongside the late, great Sir Bruce Forsyth.
Who will replace them, many fans asked the question. The most “forward, side, close”* of picks you could ever get immediately backed the very, very boring and predictable suggestion of Holly Willoughby.
Why not use existing talent from other shows to help the Beeb save money, in my opinion?
The Apprentice’s Lord Sugar could send the losing couple home with a cheeky “You’re tired!”, the Gladiators’ ref could start each performance with a rousing yell of “Dancers ready?”, “Judges ready?”, or maybe the new Match of the Day trio could provide a commentary – they are experts on fancy footwork after all.
Phwoar Friday
Netflix’s most ironically named show is back! Nobody Wants This returned for season two on Thursday and by Friday morning, it was clear: EVERYONE still wanted… Adam Brody, sorry, it (I meant “it”, honest).
The romcom between a hot rabbi and a sex podcaster was a hit last year, especially because the kiss was so scorching hot that it could melt ice cream.
And despite a rather unfair backlash after Kristen Bell made a near-the-knuckle joke on her 12th wedding anniversary this week (Google it because I refuse to give it column inches), the second series has once again soared straight into the Netflix Top 10.
The best thing I learned this week? Kristen Bell presented Adam with a Teen Choice Award for Best Dramatic Actor way back in 2005, when she was in Veronica Mars and he was in The O.C.
It’s fitting because Adam was always my teen choice, along with my twenty-something choice, my thirty-something choice, and, to be honest, my current choice.
One of the fundamentals of the waltz is “Forward, Side, Close.” A Gen Z insult to something that is very predictable and commonplace. In other news, I appear to have accepted the role of the Beeb to educate, inform, and (at least attempt to) entertain.
Source: Mirror
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