Paul O’Grady’s friend and producer, Malcolm Prince, has a remarkable new book about him, which brings fresh perspective to his life with gripping new testimony from his friends, family, and famous friends.
Even when faced with a life-saving heart operation, Paul O’Grady’s first thought wasn’t for himself – it was for everyone else. His close friend and producer Malcolm Prince has revealed how in the final months of his life, the star refused an implantable defibrillator because he didn’t want to let anyone down.
“He’d signed up to do the musical Annie, he signed up to do the dog show, “ Malcolm tells the Mirror. “He didn’t want to go back into hospital to have another procedure and then spend time recuperating. He wanted to get on and live his life but also work. He didn’t want to let people down.” Ultimately, the device could have saved his life.
Paul, who had a history of heart problems, eventually died from a sudden cardiac arrhythmia on March 28, 2023. But the TV star had been adamant he didn’t want the medical intervention. A few months earlier, Paul had spent a week in William Harvey Hospital in Ashford, Kent, and the thought of being sidelined again was unbearable.
He simply wants me to have a defib, he wrote in a text message to his daughter Sharyn. But I’m having none of them in any way. He’s being too cautious, and I’m not even close to as bad as he was.
His manager and close friend Joan Marshrons had a lengthy explanation of the procedure to Paul. But he couldn’t be persuaded. He worried about his own body let him down in the past few years, according to Joan. He would have felt embarrassed about it all because he didn’t want to be in front of the camera or in front of the audience when the pacemaker kicked in, and I believe that’s why he wouldn’t have the pacemaker.
The final few months of Paul’s life are featured in Malcom’s extraordinary new book Paul O’Grady – Not The Same Without You which is being serialized by the Daily and Sunday Mirror. It was written with the blessing of Paul’s daughter Sharyn and features candid testimony from his family, as well as Paul’s friends, colleagues, and celebrity friends.
Remarkably, for a man who was so open about many facets of his life, the book sheds fascinating new light on the star, who held a special place in the heart of the public. “It would have been his 70th birthday this year, and I feel ready to tell his story, and I hope I’ve done him justice,” says Malcolm who sat alongside Paul for 14 years on his BBC Radio 2 show.
Paul frequently used humor to lighten the storm’s path. Malcolm recalls how he joked that using a defibrillator would prevent an electronic garage door from opening automatically when walking past.
However, it seems as though his mind was made up, Malcolm writes. Paul also gave the impression that his time was limited. Moira Stewart, Paul’s lifelong friend, recalls a conversation that occurred in the car on the way home following his hospital visit.
He told me, “I’m not going to be here for much longer as we were driving along the lanes back home.” I pressed him to explain what the doctors had said to him after speaking with him and asked what he meant. He just responded, “That’s it. That’s it,” as I placed my arm around him while he was contemplating. I believe I won’t stay here for very long. He made a similar statement to Malcolm in a subsequent phone call.
Because he calmly ended our conversation, “I won’t make old bones, Malcolm,” I’ll never forget it.
Paul was referring to “not knowing what was around the corner” in a conversation about the passing of a close friend of Malcolm even weeks before his passing.
According to Malcolm, “Paul joked about his own age and how he wouldn’t be surprised if his own exit was “earlier than later.” Paul and Paul discussed their will at their final meeting on Paul’s death, saying it “seen just hanging in the air.”
Paul may have had an eating disorder, the book explores for the first time. I probably hadn’t noticed it until some of the people I’d spoken to expressed it, Malcolm says. “But it makes sense.
Incredibly, it may have stemmed from trying to remain slender as his alter-ego Lily Savage. His make-up artist Vanessa White recalls: “I think it all stemmed from his days with Lily, when he was wearing corsets, and he had to be slim.”She adds: “He was a very tricky eater, and on filming trips with him, I would always take a box of Weetabix, just in case, because often he just wouldn’t be able to eat anything.”
Similar patterns were observed by other friends. According to Amanda Mealing, “Food was a necessity, and he didn’t particularly like] having to eat it.” “There was something about food that was difficult for him,” Morera continued. He claimed that Chrissie, his aunty, was probably anorexic, a significant influence in his early years. And Paul either ate too much or ate too little. Paul O’Grady’s Great Elephant Adventure, one of his final TV appearances, came out in 1992 as evidence of his declining health. Vanessa vividly recalls that trip.
“Paul was literally and literally gray, and he was unable to walk from the plane to the lounge, where we had to wait for another six hours while we waited for the connecting flight to Laos. She said that he was “so thin and looked so sick.”
TV star friend Alan Carr recalled seeing him not long after, and shortly before he began rehearsals for Annie. “I had seen him recently for dinner and he looked frail and, for once, he looked his age. I mean, his wit was still intact, and he was funny, joking and quick as a whip as always, but I did think he looked a bit fragile… his spark had gone, so I was shocked to hear he was doing Annie,” Alan says. “But it was a calling for him, and I know how much he enjoyed getting out there and entertaining; getting that response from a live audience was his lifeblood.”
However, during their final meeting, Paul was eagerly planning his upcoming projects after seeing that spark again. That was amazing to see. And I was there pondering, “Well, I was wrong.” He enjoys working with Annie. I was like, “Wow, he has more energy than I do.”
On November 6th, Malcolm Prince’s Paul O’Grady: Not the Same Without You (HarperCollins, £22) releases.
Source: Mirror
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