Our journalist had never been on a stage since she was a young child, and she was suddenly featured in Clueless The Musical in front of a crowd of hundreds.
Are you interested in playing Clueless The Musical? A hushed PR asks me a question out of the blue. As if, is my first thought, in Cher Horowitz’ own style!
I’ve been asked to do the weird and the wonderful in this job – but this is right up there. I’d been to see the show at London’s Trafalgar Theatre a few weeks before and was blown away by the slick performances, particularly that of lead Emma Flynn, who plays entitled Cher. These guys are pros. My acting experience, however, extends to two nativity plays. And in one of those, I merely shook a bell.
READ MORE: Here We Go star Alison Steadman on heartbreaking reason she’s quit theatre
However, now is a great time to get involved as Clueless celebrates its 30th anniversary and the UK tour schedule approaches. Even if I’m frightened and if all the nervy things I’ve ever done are flashing in my face when I speak in public.
I meet with the wardrobe department the week before my West End debut. I’m a 38-year-old mother-of-two who transitions into a US high schooler from the 1990s with a checked skirt and cute cardigan. That is no small feat.
Then I get my brief: I’ll be treading the boards in the party scene. As a huge fan of director Anne Heckerling’s 1995 movie starring Alicia Silverstone as Cher and Paul Rudd as her brother Josh, I was delighted to see they’d stayed true to it in the stage show, which included a raucous gathering at a Valley house. This is where I will appear – at the bar, my spiritual home. I am tasked with knocking back shots of vodka (fake, of course) and dancing (awkwardly) in the corner. It sounds a lot like my uni days. Maybe this won’t be so bad after all.
The big day arrives in time. In a two-minute scene without lines, my name may not appear in the lights, but I will be briefly illuminated in the corner. It’s the safest choice, in my opinion. I assumed I would be completely clumsy with nerves, but I am eerie calm. I need to do something. The show must continue.
The cast is incredibly talented, and I’m proud of my limited experience. I explain my role as Mary in Year 4. I still recall three lines from my last post: “I’m very tired,” “Let’s take it,” and “I can’t walk another step.” The nativity audience gave some whoops, but I believe they were just being kind.
I’m shocked by how quickly everything is moving through two quick Clueless rehearsals now. I’ve always had deadlines as a journalist, but this is something else entirely. Due to the audience arriving in less than an hour, there is no dilly-dally. Eeek !
I am whisked off to a pretend dressing room (someone’s office), where I am left to stage myself. I simply slap on five more layers of make-up than the proper cast because even the proper cast doesn’t have full hair and makeup on them. “More contour” congratulates the lovely PR who initially offered me this gig.
Over the tannoy, the five-minute call ring out. It’s almost time for a show. I tell Kirsty Malpass, the resident director, that I might need some Dutch courage. According to what I’ve heard, that’s a big no-no in theater. Then, sober, then! I make my way to the wings so that I can get my call and put on my final pair of sunglasses. I am hardly able to see anything. Please don’t trip, I can’t help but think.
My calming and patient chaperone is Isaac J. Lewis. He portrays Cher’s romantic partner, Christian. The stage is ushered out by him, carrying glowing snowmen, and the next few minutes are a blur.
I do a little shuffle in the corner as the ensemble performs their choreographed dance moves as my alter ego, the new schoolgirl. I’m quickly being called out on stage by Dionne (Chyna-Rose Frederick) for flirting with her boyfriend Murray (Rabi Konde), and the persona develops at a rapid rate. I did, after all, want to have an impact, didn’t I? Before I realize it, I step back into Trafalgar Square, unsure whether it actually happened or if it was all just a dream.
A Clueless quote from Cher later comes to mind when asked how it went: “No, she’s a full-on Monet. See, it’s like a painting. It appears to be okay from a distance, but up close, it looks like a big mess. Sounds about right.
The Trafalgar Theatre in London will host Clueless The Musical until August 23. Go to cluelessonstage.com for tickets.
Source: Mirror
Leave a Reply