We speak with experts on how a tragic feud at the heart of the family ultimately reached a breaking point as Jeff Brazier enters a new “transitional time” in his life after reportedly breaking up with his wife.
Jeff Brazier is grappling with fresh heartache after a hellish year for his family, but sadly, dealing with loss is something he’s come to know all too well. The TV presenter has parted ways with his wife of seven years, Kate Dwyer. It’s the second time the pair have split, with reports suggesting the weight of this year’s family troubles took their toll on the relationship.
PR consultant Kate, 35, reportedly moved out of their marital home three weeks ago, with Jeff hinting on social media that it was over. “I’ve escaped back to the countryside,” he said, detailing the ‘transitional time’ in his life and how he was ‘living in calm’. Jeff was spotted without his wedding ring while on Monday’s GMB, while Kate is also said to have ditched her band after heading to to Las Vegas for the Grand Prix.
A source told The Sun: “It’s been an incredibly stressful year for all of them. One thing followed the next. The pressure they’re under has exposed the weaknesses in their marriage and it’s become too much. Kate has admitted she’s had enough with her friends. She left three weeks ago and is now living in an apartment in London”.
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Jeff continued to update his fans on his big move, saying that he had finally made the decision to leave and pursue a career. “After three years in the commuter belt to make things easy for everyone else, it was when I ultimately became a storage facility that I realised it was time to suit myself and open fields make me happy”, he wrote. He is said to have said in another moving post, “We have to design the life we want. Things don’t just change on their own.”
Addressing the split, he insisted that Kate is still very much a part of the boys ‘ lives but admitted: “We both deserve complete happiness and we’re upset that we ultimately couldn’t be that for one another and It felt time to let it go”.
Just hours later it was reported that son Freddy, 21, has split from his pregnant girlfriend Holly Swinburn. The source told the Mail: “The pair have been arguing a lot recently. Having a baby so young is a lot to deal with.” On top of that, Jeff’s older son Bobby has moved to India to pursue his interest in the Hare Krishna movement, while Jade’s mum Jackiey famously remains at war with Jeff and wasted no time in celebrating his split.
Jeff has undeniably spent years trying to give his family solid roots, so how has everything backfired so badly? For a man who became a single dad overnight when his ex Jade Goody tragically died of cervical cancer at just 27, prioritising himself after years of putting his boys first might feel like foreign territory. But experts say that the pressure of holding his family unit together after such a devastating loss will have had a profound impact on the dad, who was only 30 himself when he lost Jade.
Simon Batty, a BACP-accredited counsellor, says that the family’s grief could still be rearing its head and affecting their dynamic. He tells The Mirror: “Grief for many, or all sub-consciously, is an ongoing process with no end. That doesn’t mean that the grief process, or how it’s managed has to be a negative experience, but the changes to dynamics and relationships can cause emotional turmoil for all involved within the family.
” When a dad is bereaved and their young children are navigating their own loss, how does dad process his own grief when he needs to be there to support their children? He can’t he? And if he does, how does he provide for the loss of all that mum offered the children? Without the maternal bond and everything else they lacked, how do they survive?
How much of these dynamics prevent the “new” family from functioning and flourishing as well as being able to work through the differences and continue to process the grief? All of these things are made difficult by the emotions that accompany the grief, sometimes in ways that those grieving will not be able to understand and therefore not able to communicate”.
The star believes that Jeff’s father passed away when he was a young child, which has influenced how he handled his two sons as they navigated their loss. “My experience in childhood probably really lent into how I’ve parented Bobby and Freddy”, he said on Celebrity Race Across The World. I’m forever grateful that my mother chose to have me even though she was only 15 years old, which probably goes against everyone’s judgment.
” I didn’t ever have the company of my biological dad, he died when I was nine. I always regret not getting to know him, so as a father, I was always going to make sure they had the same experience I would have liked to have had from him.
When Jade passed away, Jeff had to break the news to Bobby and Freddy, then five and four. Ever since that devastating day, he’s had to be both mum and dad, something that Tina Chummun, UKCP accredited psychotherapist and trauma specialist and the founder of Care2Counsel, believes may have led to the family unit breakdown.
” Parents often carry a double load after bereavement, this means they are trying to process their own grief and their children’s. That level of emotional stress is only temporary, she said.
” Chronic stress raises cortisol levels, disrupts sleep, affects immune function and lowers emotional resilience. The body can reach breaking point when there is conflict or change, such as a broken marriage or child. In psychology it is called delayed grief activation. The crisis that appears to exist today frequently echoes the one from yesterday.
She continued, “Jade Goody’s loss so abruptly led to what is known as an attachment rupture.” Jade was not just a partner. She had a role in regulating the nervous system, and she was one of those. When that anchor disappears, the brain stores the loss as a threat to safety. This is why years later, grief returns in waves. It is not weakness. Neurobiology is doing its best to keep us safe.
Jeff’s youngest son Freddy recently revealed his own mental health and substance struggles in August, after months of turmoil with his dad over his relationship with his maternal grandmother, Jackiey Budden. When Jeff started suing Jade’s mother to stop Freddy from seeing her, Jeff immediately began to “keep him safe” and the father-son duo were hardly speaking when they were just beginning to speak. It has since been dropped.
Freddy had moved out and decided to live with Jackiey. Fears were raised when he was photographed smoking with his nan, and he later claimed that it was Jackiey who “got him hooked” on drugs. As he seemingly struggled to come to terms with Jeff’s decision, Freddy even went on a public tirade against his dad, claiming he is “image obsessed” and declaring that he “didn’t want to see him,” before eventually patching things up recently.
Freddy sadly apologised for his time and relationship with his nan and said, “I feel like if I didn’t prioritize the relationship with my mum’s mum Jackiey, I wouldn’t have given it any thought.” I was scared that if I wasn’t]around her], she’d kill herself. And I kept thinking about it for so long that I spent months at my Nan’s, going crazy, trying to figure out how to fix relationships with Jeff and Jackie. He said:” I want to be happy and be in a healthy relationship and have a healthy relationship with my Nana and my father. “
Jackiey has now blatantly claimed that Jeff “put his marriage before his sons” and that it was “the worst decision he’s ever made” despite having repeatedly criticized him in interviews this year. She told the Daily Mail:” Jeff will now have his life back. He will reunite with both of his former friends and his family. Don’t get me wrong I can’t stand the man]Jeff] but I’m happy for him because he will have a completely different life now and a happier and healthier one. “
During the family feud, Freddy’s relationship with his older brother Bobby also suffered. He admitted that he and his older brother are no longer close – a stark contrast to the scenes of support during Strictly when Freddy and Jeff were cheering Bobby on in the audience. They had previously been inseparable, he claimed earlier this year, and they were “all barely speaking.”
Bobby once stated to The Sun, “Freddy is very sensitive and wants to please. And when he grows up a little bit that will serve him well. There are aspects of him that I find objectionable, and there are aspects that he finds objectionable. Freddy will be OK, I don’t know if he looks up to me, but I look up to him in many ways, but he’s a good boy. “
Ms. Chummun questioned why Freddy and Bobby might have sexped up because, “Siblings who lose a parent typically grieve in completely different ways. One may take the ‘ protector ‘ role, another the ‘ achiever’, another the ‘ avoider’. All three of the survivors simply picked up new ways to survive. As adults, those styles can clash and distance becomes the safest option.
They do not love one another, the statement goes. It means grief shaped them differently and they may not be able to voice what is going on for them coherently. Healthy healing can truly occur when people communicate truthfully and honestly about their feelings while remaining cognizant of one another (such as in family or individual therapy).
As the nightmare raged on, Bobby, 22, reportedly distanced himself from his father Jeff and moved into his own Soho apartment. He is said to have immersed himself in spirituality while navigating the strained relationship with his dad. According to a family source, “Bobby has always had a spiritual side, but this is intentional.” It’s clear he’s trying to leave all the fighting and noise behind. Bobby’s rebellion is quiet while Freddy’s is loud with drugs, slang matches in public, and legal fights over his nana. But actually it’s just as defiant. He is following his own path and rejecting the life his father had for them in Essex.
And it isn’t just Jeff who took the brunt of the fall-out, with Bobby and Freddy reportedly clashing with their step-mum too. Before realizing that every couple has its struggles, Kate revealed last year that she “felt like a failure” in her marriage to Jeff. She gave her candid thoughts on marriage after being asked by a fan for advice on how to get theirs back on track. The publicist responded, “I believe we are all guilty of using social media to only portray the positive aspects.”
” Anyone who says marriage and raising kids is easy is lying in my opinion. Before realizing that everyone has their struggles, I thought I was like such a failure. I would never share the details of our relationship, but the one thing I am grateful for is that my husband is just as willing to put the work into himself and the relationship as I am. You are limited to that, you can’t ask for more.
A glimmer of hope finally came in the Brazier feud when Jeff’s sons put their differences aside to show up and support their dad during his debut in the West End show 101 Dalmations: The Musical in late July. It was lovely to have both of the lads join me in @101dalmatiansuk, according to proud father Jeff, who posted a picture of the trio. I love how much it made them laugh and it was really special that they were both there to support me. Thank you for visiting @bobbybrazier_ @freddybrazier.
Freddy then seemed to confirm that the feud had been put to bed, as he replied:” What a show, loved every minute of it! Most of all, I enjoyed just playing and having fun with it. I love you Dad. “
And referencing son Freddy’s impending fatherhood on social media this week, Jeff said:” I wanted to be in a home that felt like a calm retreat for my soon-extended family. Success and peace have become clear to me at a time when all of our lives seem to be in transition, and I’ve found the ideal setting for this.
Source: Mirror
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