‘He lives for the goals’ – robot Haaland returns from malfunction

Erling Haaland is a big Peter Crouch fan, but is he actually a robot?

After Manchester City’s impressive Premier League victory over shaky Bournemouth on Sunday, fans may have to wonder whether that is true or not.

The Norwegian striker was a goal-scorer after failing to score in last weekend’s defeat at Aston Villa, but he returned with a ruthlessly effective first-half double against the Cherries. He only had a second failure this season.

Haaland did prove he was still human by skipping a few chances to complete his hat-trick, if he is concealing any nuts and bolts beneath those blonde locks of his.

However, many fans were in awe of the 25-year-old’s prowess in front of goal, which led to his team’s second-placed opener, which was a robot dance.

When he scored and then celebrated in a similar manner, it reminded me of the iconic moves of the towering former Liverpool and England forward Crouch.

After that, Crouch joked, “I walked so they could run,” while Haaland replied, “Guess I couldn’t hide it any longer.”

However, the humorous exchange fails to distract from Haaland’s incredible goalscoring accomplishments, which total 26 for both club and country and are currently 13 in the league, eight of which are home doubles.

City manager Pep Guardiola compared Haaland’s remarkable accomplishments to those of the two contemporary footballing legends after welcoming his striker with a warm embrace at full-time.

When asked if he had reached Cristiano Ronaldo’s and Lionel Messi’s levels, the Spaniard replied, “Have you seen that guy’s numbers? He has, of course.

Cristiano and Messi have been doing the same for 15 years, Messi still scores two or three goals per game, and Cristiano in Saudi Arabia, the same. That’s the level.

The ball is slashed down on the grass, and he says, “I am going to score this.” He is incredibly coachable, and I’ve said it before, and I’m sometimes tough with him.

With six Premier League titles in the last eight seasons and a Champions League title in 2023, City have also been a relentless winning force themselves, aside from the glitch from last season, which saw them fail to win a significant trophy.

With speed, agility, and clinical finishing, Haaland has a force that can annihilate defenses.

City’s first in ten games ended with a 1-0 defeat at Villa Park, and he has not forgotten that blip despite winning games against Swansea and Bournemouth in the process.

When asked if he felt unstoppable, Haaland responded, “I didn’t score last game.” I want to see the team succeed, but that’s not how I want it.

As long as we are winning games, it doesn’t matter if we are scoring, helping, or winning duels. My job is to help the team improve as a football team.

Haaland’s numbers for this term differ significantly. Les Ferdinand for Newcastle was the only player to score 13 goals in the opening 10 Premier League games, while Haaland for himself managed 15. In 2022, Les Ferdinand was the only other player to score 15.

He accounts for 65% of City’s goals in the top flight and Champions League, scoring 17 of their 26 goals across the two competitions, and has the highest xG (9.20) in the league without drawing a penalty.

This is what we must do, Guardiola said, “to give him the chances and the passes.” He is aware of this, but we are so fortunate and blessed to have him because he is the most generous and sweet.

And he’ll get better. After that, the player’s numbers are simply outstanding.

There has been much criticism of City’s excessive reliance on Haaland and the need for other players to “step up” and score more goals.

Journalist Julien Laurens told BBC Radio 5 Live, “Of course you want others to join in, and they will eventually.”

Haaland will be licking his lips when Rayan Cherki and Haaland cross paths on Sunday, where the Frenchman scored both of his goals with skillful assists.

The 22-year-old scored for Wolves in the opening game, but he has only recently returned to action following a six-week layoff with a thigh injury.

Erling and I are one and the same. It’s very simple when I play with him and he with me,” Cherki, who moved to Lyon last summer, said.

Erling says, “Give the ball to him and he will score.”

Their partnership with Bournemouth represented a promising sign of things to come for City’s attack and opposition managers, who will now have to deal with Cherki’s caliber as well as figure out how to shackle Haaland.

Andoni Iraola, the manager of Bournemouth, said that his performance against Haaland was “almost impossible.” He is very quick when you release the press at the back and press higher.

You run out of superlatives, ex-england goalkeeper Paul Robinson said on BBC Radio 5 Live. Erling Haaland may face criticism for not involving himself enough in the game.

However, if he stays in the Premier League, he will score a ridiculous number of goals and eventually break all kinds of records.

Shay Given, an ex-City goalkeeper, stated: “Erling Haaland wants to be the best striker in Premier League history, the best player in Norwegian history, and probably the best player in the world.