‘England must stir themselves to find a Christmas miracle’

In English cricketing history, the Mega Munch takeaway in Nottingham is unique.

Some poor-for-wear England players celebrated a victory over New Zealand with a late-night meal there.

Bazball was born out of Trent Bridge, a breathtaking run-as-a-throw chase led by Jonny Bairstow’s swash and buckle on a scorching June 2022 evening.

The England players and staff had beers on the balcony of the dressing room after such a remarkable victory. The early hours of the drinking and the visit to Mega Munch, which a member of the public filmed and posted online, continued.

England have hosted drinks-themed series victories, and one occasion even invited reporters on foot. James Anderson necked a Guinness at Lord’s last July, marking the end of his distinguished international career.

The complex relationship between alcohol and cricket could be written in many different words.

After enjoying the home side’s Ashes victory, coach Andrew McDonald claimed opener for Australia, Travis Head, had reported to training before the fourth Test in Melbourne that he had not been in his best state.

Head and his family were pictured in a Christmas scene on the front of the Herald Sun newspaper as Australia prepares for the Boxing Day Test. A national hero for drinking and playing ball.

In the end, the key is getting results. Drinking when you’re winning, at least not in public, is not when you’re winning. Stop the fun when it ends.

England captain Ben Stokes said, “When you’re winning, it’s much easier to do things.” When you’re losing, as we have done when we’ve been 3-0 down, you get criticized, criticized, and rightly so.

When you are 3-0 up in a massive series like this, “You don’t really have a leg to stand on.”

Because of what they consumed in Noosa or anywhere else in Australia, England has not lost the Ashes.

An England Test team that couldn’t win on the field and was weary of Covid’s restrictions on it was revived in that eerie summer of 2022 thanks to the Bazball vibes.

England have now been accused of being too sombre. Either you pass away as a hero or you endure long enough to become a villain.

Despite and as a result of Stokes’ and McCullum’s approach, England has fallen apart.

McCullum, a fan of the All Blacks’ well-known “no dickheads” policy, approved of the trip to Noosa and all the risks involved.

Gilbert Enoka, a coach of mental skills, created the policy so that players could self-monitor. Under McCullum, Enoka worked for England.

Following the incident in 2017 that cost him a spot on the upcoming Ashes tour, Stokes has seen the worst side of the media.

I have first-hand knowledge of how this can affect people, Stokes said. As England captain, my goal is to as much as I can protect my players.

It is a morally righteous and admirable course of action. It might have arrived too late.

This Ashes tour made some unfair allegations against England. Mitchell Johnson, a former Australia pace bowler, rightly criticized them for being “arrogant.”

However, Stokes’ men have been careless, loose, and downright dopey. They were aware of the traps they could fall into in Australia, according to Rob Key, the director of cricket, back in September.

The past has proven to be repeated. Eight years ago, there was a Jonny Bairstow “headbutt” controversy and Ben Duckett tipping a beer over James Anderson on the Ashes tour. Local media inquired if Moeen Ali, a practicing Muslim, would be able to stay away from the bar.

A video of a drinking session involving players from both sides having to be broken up by police came out at the end of the 2021-22 tour.

Traveling through Australia is challenging even without distractions. This century, England has a record of 33 victories, wins, and draws.

Three of the four victories occurred in a single series when England lifted the urn for the first time in 39 years.

Two other true English legends, Joe Root and Stokes, are now on the verge of ending their careers in Australia without a single victory. Michael Neser, Brendan Doggett, and Jake Weatherald have each suffered this recent setback.

This is not how the Bazball era came to an end. England played some thrilling cricket under the guidance of Stokes and McCullum. The victory of New Zealand at the Trent Bridge, followed by India in Hyderabad and Pakistan in Rawalpindi.

A well-known story of woe is roiling the country as it is falling apart. Did you enjoy the 4-0 defeat four years ago, the 4-0 defeat before that, or the 5-0 defeat if you’re one of those who predicted this and still feel smug?

A battered and stricken England must somehow find a Christmas miracle at the Melbourne Cricket Ground on the most anticipated day of the Australian sporting calendar.

Despite only having played three first-class games in the previous year, a spinner in Will Jacks who is really a batter, and a pace attack that has never played together before, they still have Jofra Archer and Jacob Bethell on the team.

A victory over the odds would enable social media videos and investigations to be replaced with a different narrative. A defeat would signal the start of a new year for Sydney with a 5-0 win.