‘Dropped on Christmas Day and redemption in Durban’

For a Test cricketer, Christmas is a funny time of year.

You are watching what you eat and drink out of fear of getting out of shape if you aren’t watching a series. You’re probably getting ready for a Boxing Day Test, a recurring event on the calendar, if you’re in the middle of a series.

The months combine into one due to the manic nature of the schedule.

Between March 2010 and November 2017, I completed this cycle for roughly eight years. Because you are constantly chasing the sun, you lose track of the days of the week, the months of the year, and the seasons in general.

In those eight years, I spent three Christmases away from home, and returned home on Christmas Day in the year afterward.

You find yourself in the sunshine, staring at the hotel buffet, and observing the opposition when all your friends are enjoying turkey in the British winter.

Making sure you’re both physically and mentally ready for a Test the day afterward is an odd juxtaposition. You want to eat everything in sight and end up in a stupor in front of a fire.

Over the Christmas holiday, I’ve had a few different experiences touring. The lowest was after Christmas Day 2010 practice in Australia.

Everyone was eager to get ready for the Boxing Day Test at the Melbourne Cricket Ground the following day.

Instead of a training cap, Santa Claus hats are always knocking around in the morning so you can enjoy the afternoon.

I was aware that I was a little vulnerable. The series was tied at 1-1 after we had suffered a significant loss in Perth’s third Test. A bowler typically makes way when a batting unit is rolled for a few low scores.

I was hoping the management would stick with me for Boxing Day despite the fact that I didn’t bowl well in Perth. It would have been a fulfillment of a dream.

I witnessed captain Andrew Strauss staring directly at me in the mirror after practice. He asked, “Can I have a conversation with you in the bathroom?”

I was aware of the wall’s writing. When dropped, this is not a typical occurrence. In order to prevent a player from starting, a captain will want to deliver the news in a quiet location, away from the team, to have some compassion and to help the impact of anyone else hearing it.

Before Strauss left to deliver the good news to Tim Bresnan, who had replaced me (excellently, I might add), I could barely get my tears out of my eyes.

The fact that my partner at the time, my sister and I traveled all the way to Melbourne to watch me play a Boxing Day test only made things worse. I felt like I had wasted their time, and I was completely depressed. I’ve played three Ashes tours, but none of them have been on Boxing Day. A low point in my career.

Going to the hotel’s lunch was a part of the Christmas routine. I had to pretend that I was enjoying watching Father Christmas give gifts to the players’ children and the staff’s wife slurping back oysters. I detest eating noises.

In 2015, South Africa hosted my best Christmas on tour. The series’ opening match was the Boxing Day Test, and it was going to be fiercely competitive. We had just won the Ashes the previous summer, so South Africa was still full of big guns.

After a few months of being out with a stress fracture to the ball of my foot, I decided to get fit enough to join the Durban squad.

I was aware that I would play if I was fit, not unlike the Australia tour five years earlier. What I admired most about Trevor Bayliss’ coaching of England was that. He seemed to have a strong sense of confidence in me and confidence in me as a bowler. Even though I had a plan to play, Alastair Cook did that same Christmas Day, and the captain gave me a lovely feeling when I got the nod.

No toilet breaks or bursting into tears, just a peaceful, enjoyable Christmas in Durban’s seafront. Because it was hot and I was thinking about how to bowl to Hashim Amla, AB de Villiers, and the rest of the day, it didn’t really feel like Christmas. Even if I had the opportunity to play Dale Steyn in my unviable role as nightwatchman, which would ruin anyone’s peaceful Christmas, I was much more content.

Without my family, I went on a Christmas lunch with the other guys who were in the same boat, then slid off to my room to unwind, hoping to see us win the toss and bowl first on a hot pitch. That’s a true Christmas present, to be sure.

In fact, we lost the toss, but the Test was won by 241 runs. On the fourth evening, Faf Du Plessis gave me one of my favorite wickets, a lifter, just as he was providing significant rearguard. My previous Christmas disappointments came to mind in some way.

Christmas on the road actually resembles another Test week. I would always sympathize with the men who have families going through this time of year. It must be difficult to balance being a father, a husband, an international cricket player, and Father Christmas.

A sense of balance can be found there thanks to having family there, which can be a great break from a long tour. However, I’d always leave it to the boys with kids to explain to a four-year-old why it’s not snowing and how Santa knows you won’t be at home.

I’ll be thinking about all the cricketers out there getting ready to play a game the day before, as I settle in on this festive period and get my body weight in whatever is presented to me.