Despite only getting engaged four months ago, it is reported that Jesy Nelson and Zion Foster have since split after their twin baby girls were diagnosed with SMA. Here, The Mirror explores what went wrong for the embattled pair…
Reports have surfaced that Jesy Nelson and her fiance Zion Foster have split two weeks after she revealed the heartbreaking diagnosis of her twins.
Little Mix star Jesy, 34, and Zion, 27, welcomed their daughters Ocean Jade and Story Monroe Nelson-Foster prematurely last May, following a difficult pregnancy and an emergency procedure. Unfortunately, there were more challenges to come for the sisters, who are now facing a life of disability after being diagnosed with spinal muscular atrophy (SMA) Type 1.
The severe form of the condition that eventually kills a person’s body over time is attributed to Ocean and Story, who were hailed as “two little warriors” by dad Zion. If left untreated, sufferers may have just two years to live. They are currently processing the fact that their young daughters are unlikely to ever walk.
READ MORE: Jesy Nelson’s ex Zion’s shock comments about her emerge after sad split news
Jesy stated earlier this month to Instagram that she had previously stated to followers that she had been told the girls at Great Ormond Street would never be able to walk. They would probably never regain their neck strength. They will be disabled. The best thing we can do at this time is to give them hope and get them better. Thankfully, the girls have had their treatment, which I’m so grateful for. They would die if they didn’t have it.
Jesy has talked about losing the life she imagined. And it appears that more heartbreak is afoot amid reports that she and Zion have parted ways just four months after announcing their engagement. She and Zion are still friends and focused on their daughters, according to a source close to The Sun. They are completely at peace with co-parenting. Their priority continues to be the well-being of their daughters”.
What then occurred? Although trauma can bind some couples, experts warn that couples can become more apart due to stress, fear, and heartache. The problems start when shock pushes the body into survival mode such as fight, flight or shutdown.
Chartered Clinical Psychologist Tracy King told the Mirror: “This is not a conscious choice. It is a biological reaction. When we are under extreme stress, the thinking part of the brain that helps us organise communication, reflect, and respond thoughtfully can take a backseat.
People may become more reactive, emotionally detached, or find it difficult to listen and respond with calm as a result. Communication can break down even in strong relationships, not because of a lack of love, but because the brain is prioritising survival. Additionally, during this time, physical intimacy and sex are very common.
When a body believes it is escaping danger, it isn’t focused on connection, pleasure, or reproduction, according to biology. The nervous system prioritises protection, not intimacy. When it is actually a typical stress response, many couples interpret it as rejecting or losing attraction.
Couples who deal with trauma and fear also have more pressing practical problems to deal with, such as money pressure, career uncertainty, and sleep deprivation. Suddenly, time is squeezed tighter than ever, and it’s easy for the big conversations to get swept under the rug.
According to BACP registered psychotherapist Susie Masterson, how parents deal with this high level of stress is profoundly influenced by patterns that were taught as children. She claims that one partner, or even both, searches for distractions and other outlets to regain control of their lives by looking for “excuses,” which are common.
“Our threat responses are also learned from our childhoods, and most of us have a common one (though it’s important to remember that we can go through a whole range of responses over time)”, Ms Masterson said. We look for “escape hatches,” which is another common response to shock. This might include leaving the relationship, engaging in risky behavior, obsessive or compulsive behavior, or even self-harming. These are attempts to establish a sense of control. Be vocal about it and be aware of it. Not by judging the other person (or ourselves), but by naming it so that we can get help.
Early warning signs may vary from person to person, and can often be “quite subtle”, Ioana Rotaru, psychotherapist and director of Ioana Rotaru Therapy, warns.
According to Ms. Rotaru, who is particularly interested in relationships, “it’s not about the fights or conflicts but rather the emotional disconnection.” This may look like feeling alone even when together, avoiding vulnerable, difficult conversations because ‘ there’s already so much going on’, one partner taking on the role of ‘ the strong one ‘ even if struggling, increased irritability or conflict over small things, loss of warmth, affection, intimacy, noticing resentment building”.
It’s surprising that once-happy relationships collapse under the weight of such a heavy load to bear, which is emotionally and practically challenging. A diagnosis can act like a “pressure cooker,” according to emotional intelligence expert Wendy Dignan of the Champions Speakers Agency, especially if the relationship has already broken down.
“I frequently see parents dealing with shock, grief, fear, exhaustion, and practical stress,” said Ms. Dignan of the Mirror. There is very little emotional room for the relationship when you’re trying to process something this significant. One of the biggest challenges is that partners often cope very differently. One person may engage in problem-solving or practical behavior while the other may experience emotional exhaustion. If the situation isn’t discussed, couples can live the same crisis but experience it in completely different ways. This can lead to division.
This doesn’t necessarily have to spell doom, however, with Ms Dignan agreeing that “for some couples, facing such a profound challenge together can actually strengthen their bond”. She continued, “Adversity doesn’t have to tear couples apart; for some, it becomes the thing that builds their bonds and strengthens their bonds.” How then can couples navigate this seemingly impossible situation and emerge as one again?
On this front, Dr Joanna Silver, Consultant Psychologist, has the following wisdom to share: “It is important for parents to know that there is no ‘right’ way to respond to such challenges and that all reactions are valid. Sometimes parents can feel a pressure to appear ‘strong’ and ‘put together’ to the outside world and child, and it can be helpful to have a safe a space to explore all emotions. Some people find it useful to talk to a professional or a friend to do this.
Even the smallest glimpses of connection and checking in can go a long way to improving a relationship because there is so much going on. Most importantly, I would advise treating yourself with kindness and compassion because this is a very difficult situation to navigate.
Similarly, Ms Rotaru advised:” My advice to a couple in a similar situation would be to adopt the attitude that ‘ although there is strain, it doesn’t mean separation. You and I are fighting the problem, not you, me. The more emotional connection and presence you can foster within the boundaries of your new reality. For example, you may not be able to manage big date nights, but even 10 minutes of honest check-ins, six-second kisses, and gentle affection are helpful.
Everyone in this situation is the “bad guy,” according to the author, “it’s helpful to normalize that despite your various coping mechanisms, they are not a sign that something is wrong.” This becomes more effective as you become more aware of the needs you are addressing with your coping techniques. Also, reflect on what you need to fill up your own cup. You can connect with others and make decisions based on safety rather than survival when you feel more like yourself. Finally, if this option is available, go to your village and ask friends, family, or even a therapist for assistance right away. You don’t have to be the strong one or the one who does it perfectly”.
Do you have a tale to tell? Contact me at julia@gmail.com. banim@reachplc.com. Follow Mirror Celebs on Threads, Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, YouTube, and Snapchat.
READ MORE: Inside Jesy’s heartbreaking split as she ditches ring after twins’ heartbreaking diagnosis
