The legendary musician Billy Joel: And So It Goes tells a dark period in his early life that included heartbreak, betrayal, and two suicide attempts.
Music legend Billy Joel has revealed he attempted suicide twice in his early twenties, following a turbulent affair with a friend’s wife that left him in a coma. The revelations are featured in the new documentary Billy Joel: And So It Goes , where the 76-year-old speaks candidly about the events that drove him to the brink.
Joel and his bandmate Jon Small, his wife Elizabeth Weber, and their child were living together when things got serious. Elizabeth described their relationship as “slow build,” and Joel and Weber eventually bonded. She and Joel would later wed, living together from 1973 to 1982.
Joel, who has recently been diagnosed with brain cancer, eventually confessed his feelings to Small. “I was in love,” he said. The fallout was immediate and painful. “I felt very, very guilty about it. They had a child. I felt like a homewrecker. I was just in love with a woman and I got punched in the nose which I deserved,” he admitted. “Jon was very upset. I was very upset.”
Their band, Attila, was ended by the conflict, and their friendship was forever destroyed. Joel’s mental health quickly deteriorated as Weber left. I was unable to live where. He claimed that while I was sleeping in laundromats, I was depressed to the point where I almost became psychotic. That’s it, I thought, “so I figured that’s it.” I no longer desire to live.
At the time, Joel’s sister, Judy Molinari, was providing him with sleeping pills to get some rest. She recalled in a tearful state, “But Billy decided that he was going to take all of them… he was coma for days and days and days.” When I went to see him in the hospital, he lay there looking sleepy as a dove. I believed I had murdered him.
Joel considered making another attempt even after recovering. He drank cleaning agents before Small rushed him to the hospital. Joel said, “Jon saved my life, even though our friendship was exploding.”
He was forgiven by Small later. The only real reason Billy hit it so hard was because he loved me so dearly and that it killed him, he claimed.
Joel checked himself into a psychiatric observation unit after his second attempt at suicide. He claimed that the experience altered his life. I left, and I thought to myself, “You can channel all those emotions into music.”
Joel would eventually become one of the best-selling artists in history, but his suffering would ultimately become the material for his best work. Piano Man, New York State of Mind, and Just The Way You Are are a few of his most notable hits.
If you’re struggling and need to talk, the Samaritans operate a free helpline open 24/7 on 116 123. Alternatively, you can email jo@samaritans.org or visit their site to find your local branch.
