Former Geordie Shore star Holly Hagan has opened up about her overwhelming guilt after the death of her 19-year-old sister Darci from a drugs overdose
Holly Hagan has said she feels “guilty” over the tragic death of her sister. The former Geordie Shore star recently lost her half-sister, Darci, who died in October at the age of 19 following an accidental drug overdose. The teenager passed away 48 hours after taking crystal MDMA.
Holly is expecting her second child with footballer husband Jacob Blyth, and has opened up about the devastation she feels at the loss. The reality TV star says she feels an overwhelming sense of guilt and regret that she did not warn her sister about the dangers of taking drugs the night she fatally overdosed at Warehouse Project in Manchester.
She told the Mail: “The grief I have for Darci is guilt. When good things are happening to me and the life I have been able to live, not that it hasn’t come with difficulties sometimes, but I have been so lucky overall.
“I have the perfect man, I have a child, I am pregnant, I got married, and I have been on the holidays. My life hadn’t even started at 19 and she doesn’t even have the chance to see any of it. Every event that she was a part of was mine.
“The guilt that the only thing she had was her prom. It breaks my heart because it’s not fair. What is the purpose? What’s the lesson in all of this?”
Holly also said that Darci “had a lot to live for” and that her biggest regret was “not messaging her that night” to tell her to be careful with the substances she was consuming. Darci had done drugs in the past but had never consumed MDMA in its crystal form.
She added: “Darci had a lot to live for, she had just passed her theory test, she was looking to get a little car, she said all she wanted to do was go to Starbucks and get a matcha and listen to her music, she worked as a cocktail waitress, which she loved.”
But Holly also admitted that she doesn’t know if there’s “anything she could have done to change anything.” She added: “She’s in a dark club and being naïve and not realising how much a quantity is because she’s never taken a version of this drug before, she has poured it into her drink.
“Her friend said there was still a lot left but if you have seen that drug before you know it comes in powder and there are rocks in there as well. What happened is possibly the bigger rocks had gone into her drink, and it still looked like there was a lot left in the bag, but it was enough for it to be an overdose.”
The two girls’ stepdad, John, had driven Darci and her best friend to Manchester for the night out. Holly and her son Alpha-Jax were planning to meet with John and Darci the next day.
Holly also shared how she knew something was drastically wrong when she was woken by a light knock at her door and discovered she had 130 missed calls on her phone, as her heart sank.
She said: “The first message I saw was in capital letters, saying, ‘We are with your sister, you need to get to Manchester Royal Infirmary right now, please call us back’, and that was at 2am. My whole body was in fight mode; I sat on the toilet shaking.”
Holly then shared her praise for the “phenomenal” care that the medical staff at the Manchester Royal Infirmary provided. She said the support could not have been better and that although it was “traumatic”, it was “so comforting” knowing she was “in the best hands.”
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