The Pub Landlord’s Al Murray is urging members of the public to sign up for stem cell transplants after the tragic death of his eight-year-old nephew Finley Relf
Al Murray hasn’t stopped making us laugh since bursting onto the comedy scene as the Pub Landlord in the ‘90s. Behind the scenes, however, the comic has been dealing with the heartbreaking death of his eight-year-old nephew Finley Relf, with his family approaching the fourth anniversary of his passing.
Finley was diagnosed with juvenile myelomonocytic leukaemia – an aggressive and rare form of the childhood cancer – at the age of six. After two years of chemotherapy and stem cell transplants, Finley tragically died in 2021.
“He was lovely, boisterous and into monsters,” Al tells us. “He used to say that the best thing about riding a bike uphill was coming back down and going, ‘Wee!’ He was a bright and sweet boy – and very, very stoic because he was ill for a very long time.
“He was in and out of Great Ormond Street and Brighton Hospital. Seeing what my in-laws have been through, what my family has been through, losing a child. It’s horrible – you wouldn’t wish it on anybody.”
With Finley’s illness coinciding with the COVID-19 pandemic, it was even harder for his parents and wider family to visit him in the hospital.
“It was very, very difficult,” Al says. “My wife would go to see him every day at Great Ormond Street when he was there. He was immunocompromised, and he was in isolation. It was very difficult to see him and to keep his morale up.”
While battling the illness, Finley received three stem cell transplants, which allowed him to live for longer. “The only known effective cure is a stem cell transplant and he had a couple of those,” Al says.
“In the end, they didn’t work but they kept him going a lot longer than he would have kept going anyway. If people can get themselves on the stem cell register, if they come up as a match, they could save someone’s life.”
Since Finley’s death, Al has dedicated his time to raising awareness of stem cell transplants – working with charity Anthony Nolan to encourage others to sign up.
“When he died, I very much felt, ‘What can I do with my modicum of notoriety as it were?’ Advocating for stem cell donation seems like the right way to go.
“It’s not like giving blood where you have to give blood. With this, you get your DNA on the database, they know who you are and if they need you, they call you. I think it’s brilliant. It’s not just kids but it’s everybody that you might save.”
During his life, Finley received stem cell donations from all over the world – and Al stresses that the more data on the system, the better chances there are of finding a match.
“He had a German donation that they used to call Herman and then he had an American donor as well,” he says. “It’s a truly international effort. It’s a match like a fingerprint almost, it’s much more precise than blood type. You need as close a genetic match as you can possibly get – that’s why we need more people.
“We also need more people of different ethnic backgrounds because quite simply, the numbers are stacked against you in a Western country like this if you’re from an ethnic background.”
After Finley’s death, his parents set up their own charity in his honour to help parents of other ill children through the process. “It’s called Finley’s Touch and raises money for families in that situation,” he says.
“They provide what they call a hospital survivor bag, which has coffee, WiFi vouchers, books and toys. Going into that sort of ward is very hard going. Your life is put completely on hold. Lots of people have to quit work because they’ve got to be with their kids.”
Now, Al and his family try to help others after Finley’s horrific battle. “It was just an awful, stressful time for everybody. I’ve been sort of adjacent to it so seeing what my brother-in-law and his wife went through and Finn’s brother as well, it is extremely tough.
“It’s a hellish and bitter, horrible illness that’s remorseless. We try not to dwell on that time and to think what we can do out the other side,” he adds. “Being a stem cell donor is your chance to save someone’s life. It’s like the lottery in a strange way.
“You buy a ticket by getting on the register, you might win and save someone’s life – so why not buy a ticket?”
In the meantime, Al has been keeping busy by planning a TV return as the Pub Landlord and hosting his podcast, WW2 Pod: We Have Ways of Making You Talk. However, his fans have rallied around Finley’s charity and raised over £10,000 for the cause.
“The listeners to my podcast have completely mobilized themselves around the charity and have raised a ton of money by going on marches and doing sponsored walks and doing events,” he says. “It’s been genuinely boggling.
“We keep being told that the world is chaotic and selfish and horrible. But actually, it doesn’t strike me when I see that and people’s efforts that it is at all. People are good.”
Al Murray is working with stem cell transplant charity Anthony Nolan, which recently opened a new cell collection centre in Nottingham.
If you have been affected by this story, advice and support can be found at childbereavementuk.org or you can call them on 0800 02 888 40.
