‘Being gay didn’t feel normal, until I became a footballer’

Kerstin Casparij, the defender for Manchester City, was aware that she “fancied girls.”

Being gay was never an option for her when she was a young girl in a small town in the north of the Netherlands, Heerenveen.

At the age of 15, she only discovered the LGBTQ+ community when she joined Heerenveen as a first-team player.

Being gay or queer was not a condition of being “normal.” She told BBC Sport, “I didn’t know anyone who was.”

I always wanted to be the prince in plays and when we had to walk in pairs at school.

Although it sounds stereotypical, I was already a fan of girls. I assumed I had to like boys because it was so taboo. My best mates were the only ones I had in common. That was love, to me.

“I liked them, but not that,” I said. My teenage years were confusing. [I didn’t feel those feelings for boys]]. That strange, was it? What is that, exactly?”

The 25-year-old, who has 48 Netherlands caps, has settled into Manchester with her partner Ruth, whom she met on a dating app.

Casparij, who is openly gay, claims that the LGBT community is “close to her heart.”

“Up until I started playing women’s football, it was difficult at times growing up. She claimed that it was common and openly discussed at Heerenveen.

“I learned a lot about myself,” she said. When I was younger, I had so many questions and doubts.

I was awake at night and wondered, “Is this weird or am I weird? ” For so many young girls, having my partner as my role model is very important.

The right-back has taken full advantage of the opportunity to promote gender equality in women’s football.

She regularly posts LGBTQ+ support on social media, dedicates her goal against Everton to the transgender community, and wears rainbow laces on her football boots and armbands.

Casparij argued that if it’s not always against you, you won’t say anything in today’s society, which is why I think it’s really important to spread the word and support people.

It’s crucial that we defend those who need it so they can feel supported. The trans community, for instance. I care about them because they are decent people.

“I want to show that I support them,” he said. I want to motivate others to follow suit. I believe there needs to be more community and cohesion in general.

She has supported numerous initiatives, most recently turning out to be a patron for the LGBTQ Foundation, which raises money for transgender and domestic abuse hotlines.

Casparij said, “I think queer women are currently having a difficult time, and I want to help them have safe spaces.”

Queer women, for instance, are frequently overlooked in domestic violence. I want to give them a place to go and someone to talk to.

I want to help other women.

She is also passionate about acting as a model for young, gay women, something she longed for when she was a child.

It’s nice to be able to dispel doubt in others. She continued, “It’s about helping them understand why they are feeling how they are feeling.”

Casparij enjoys interacting with supporters at WSL games and thinks that women’s football is generally such an inclusive environment.

However, there have been a few instances of racist abuse of English players, primarily through social media.

After Jess Naz was “rocked” by racial abuse online, Tottenham players stopped kneeling before kick-off.

Jess Carter, an England defender, also experienced this at Euro 2025.

And Khadija Shaw, a teammate of Casparij for Manchester City, was racially abused last year.

Casparij and her team-mates from Arsenal were huddled up in a row prior to City’s 3-2 victory at Joie Stadium in a show of unity this month.

Later, she stated in a message on Instagram that racism was a burden that everyone should bear and not just oneself.

We want to celebrate Black History Month, and we also wanted to do something meaningful, Casparij said.

We thought making the most impactful statement possible was by interlinking with one another. Everyone bears the burden.

“I hurt myself if one of my team-mates is abusedracially,” I said. Although I’m a white woman, it hurts for me to see them upset.