Barbara Windsor’s widower, a fierce champion when it comes to awareness and campaiging around dementia, opens up exclusively to the Mirror ahead of the fifth anniversary of his late wife’s death
Scott Mitchell says he is still haunted by the memories of witnessing the deterioration of his legendary actress wife Dame Barbara Windsor, who died five years ago tomorrow – but he’s determined to remember the good times.
The EastEnders icon, who played feisty Queen Vic landlady Peggy Mitchell for over a decade, died in December 2020 aged 83, six years after being diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease.
Her death was mourned by her millions of fans who fell in love with her glamour, comedy timing and ability to light up and command any stage or screen. Five years on, her widow Scott, 62, says Barbara’s infectious energy is “still very present”, but so too are the memories of what the disease robbed her of.
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“I wish I never had to experience the terror in Barbara’s eyes, when she didn’t know where she was, who I was – who she was” he exclusively tells the Mirror.
“That haunts me. No human being should have to leave this world in the way those suffering with dementia do. Nobody. That’s why we have to keep talking about it.
He adds emotionally of the disease which now affects 1 in 2 people in Britain – either personally, or as a loved one caring for someone, “Having witnessed it first hand, developing dementia myself is actually my biggest fear – absolutely. I think it’s most people’s.”
Scott adds, “I’ve been thinking of how she was at the end – and it’s made me think about how vitally important it is that we all remember what Barbara stood for before this devastating illness took hold.
“And that was an incredibly vivacious, fun-loving, talented, positive lady who brought real joy to people’s lives. Still now, when people talk about her, they smile – they can’t help it.”
Together for 27 years, Scott, who found love again with former EastEnders actress Tanya Franks (Rainie Cross), says he still receives and takes comfort in “signs” from his late wife.
“I was asked to do a talk a couple of months ago at a literary festival in Gibraltar and I got lost in the hotel and found myself in the Windsor Room,” he says. “And the other weekend, I stayed on a housebarge not long ago by the river -the boat was called Little Babs. One of the other boats in the marina was called Peggy!”
He also visits her final resting place in Golders Green Crematorium, London, where there is a plaque in the West Courtyard which reads, “She was a good bird” – the obituary title she chose herself, on Piers Morgan ’s Life Stories.
“We have a nice little chat, “ he explains. “Your loved ones are always with you, you know? I don’t believe people die and that’s the end of it. I believe our loved ones are around us.”
While she received her diagnosis of dementia in 2014, Barbara, who was appointed a Dame in 2016 for services to charity and entertainment, kept the news private for the next four years.
But the outpouring of love and support led to her to become an ambassador for the Alzheimer’s Society and a year before her death, she and Scott delivered a petition to Downing Street to highlight concerns over dementia care.
Scott tells us “charities have told me that she completely changed the narrative on dementia”. He now campaigns as the People’s Champion of the Dame Barbara Windsor Dementia Goals Programme – put in place while Boris Johnson was still in office, and recommitted to by the current government.
“In the 10-year health plan just published, they mention this programme – and to me, that’s such an honour for Barbara.
“I’m passionate about social care, which we discussed at Downing Street five years ago. Five years on, and we know that people are still struggling desperately – it needs revisited. I know I can’t save the world, nor can Barbara’s name – but we can make a difference. And people desperately need to know help is on the way.”
Scott has also made an important decision – to no longer align himself to one charity, as he had done for the past five years with Alzheimer’s Research UK.
“I’m now open to supporting other dementia charities if I feel Barbara’s name is the right association for specific campaigns”, he says. “In the past I have said no, as I was more aligned with one charity. There are many areas of the Dementia world that I feel passionately about.”
And it’s not only Scott keeping Barbara’s memory alive. Famous faces such as David Walliams, Matt Lucas, Ross Kemp and other EastEnders stars – as well as Paul O’Grady before he died, not only continue to speak about her, but have been there for Scott since her passing.
“We have this niche of incredible people who’ve always been there. When somebody becomes ill like Barbara did, you really notice who drops away – who your real friends are. But they stood fast. Tanya and I go out with David and his mum a lot, we’re always reminiscing!”
Speaking of Tanya, Scott admits he has no qualms talking to her about his late wife. “She allows me to talk about Barbara any time I need to. In the same way she can with me. I’m never second-guessing if the moment’s right.”
Tanya will also regularly accompany Scott to his regular talks about the lived experience of caring for someone with Alzheimer’s. He says, “The first thing I do is introduce Tanya and say, ‘Before we start I’d like to acknowledge my partner Tanya is here – and thank her for allowing me to share my story.”
“If I thought any of it hurt her, I wouldn’t do it. But she has her own invested passion when it comes to Alzheimer’s – her step-dad Derek died last year after an 11-year journey with it. We’re both passionate about campaigning.”
Scott met Tanya doing the London Marathon when various EastEnders cast members got together to run in Barbara’s name, when she was still alive. Tanya and Barbara’s time never crossed in Albert Square, but they met during training for the marathon.
“The team used to come to our house”, explains Scott, “and Tanya and Barbara got on really well. Barbara liked Tanya – she’d say, ‘She asks sensible questions about acting.’
“Tanya wanted to know all about theatre director Joan Littlewood, she knew her stuff and that meant a lot to Barbara. It was lovely that they did meet.”
But his new romance hasn’t been without judgemental comments. “There’s always that person that says, ‘That was quick!’ It’s easy to sit on the sidelines and cast judgement – especially with social media. These people forget that their words can really hurt.”
On the flipside, Scott gets many more people coming up to him, to this day, wanting to talk about Barbara. “The legacy she’s left is amazing. Every London cabbie asks me about her – they all say, she is ‘so missed’, popping up on TV – spreading that infectious laugh.
“Certain people truly earn the title of national treasure – Barbara was one of them. But for me, I’ll simply remember how she was, how loving she was with me. She made me laugh so much – she was true to herself, honest about her flaws and her past.
“She taught me a lot about getting rid of ego – I wasn’t as good at that in my younger days. People laughed when we first got together, but we lasted the course – it was unconditional love.”
He laughs, “It took us forever to go anywhere, she’d talk to everyone. It was like walking down the street with Tinkerbell. She loved other people and their stories – she would sprinkle her special fairy dust on everyone.”
This Christmas, Scott will be spending it with Tanya and their families. He says quietly, “You always look at empty chairs at Christmas. And we’ll be remembering our loved ones – as it should be.”
His big hope for next year is a simple one: “That Barbara’s memory continues to make a huge impact. And that everyone remembers her with a smile.”
Source: Mirror
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