TV channels U and Gold have been running a competition for over a decade for new cracker jokes, and it features the man formerly known as Prince Andrew
A joke about the former Prince Andrew losing his titles, now known as Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor, has been crowned the winner of an annual competition to find the best new Christmas cracker joke.
The survey also features the Celebrity Traitors, Oasis and Sabrina Carpenter in a list of this year’s top 10 Christmas cracker gags. TV channels U and Gold have been running a competition for 13 years, asking viewers to send in their best jokes, with ones about Reform UK leader Nigel Farage and singer Lily Allen also included.
The top joke was: “Why is (former) Prince Andrew not writing any Christmas books? He hasn’t got any titles.” The jokes were shortlisted by a panel of experts before going to a public vote of 2,000 British adults, with the author of the winning joke, Ben Smith, from Chelmsford, Essex, receiving a top prize of £1,500 towards a holiday, a festive hamper and a box of bespoke U and Gold Christmas crackers.
Comedy critic and editor of comedy website, Beyond the Joke, Bruce Dessau, who led the U&GOLD judging panel, says, “An absolutely stellar list of jokes this year – possibly one of our best ever in the thirteen years U&GOLD has been running this competition! 2025 has featured a number of newsworthy moments, and there’s a real mix of topical jokes here that poke fun at some of the year’s headlines! Big congratulations to all the winners, and well done to everyone who entered this year.”
Gerald Casey, director of programmes, comedy and entertainment at UKTV, said: “Congratulations to our 2025 winners. Another fantastic year of hilarious entries, showing that the British public are as funny as ever when it comes to the news.
“We hope to spread even more Christmas cheer with our festive U and Gold Christmas programming, including much-loved classic episodes from the likes of The Vicar Of Dibley, The Fast Show and Only Fools And Horses.” The crackers given to the winners are the top six jokes in the competition.
U and Gold’s top 10 Christmas cracker jokes are:
1. “Why is (former) Prince Andrew not writing any Christmas books? He hasn’t got any titles.”
2. “Why don’t Noel and Liam (Gallagher) want to open their presents early on Christmas morning? They need a little time to wake up.”
3. “Which pop star carves her own wooden nativity scene? Sabrina Carpenter.”
4. “What do Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor and a snowman have in common? They’re both out in the cold.”
5. “What is a French burglar’s favourite Christmas film? Louvre, actually.”
6. “Could Lily Allen and David Harbour get back together for Christmas? Stranger Things have happened.”
7. “Why won’t Angela Rayner get any Christmas presents this year? Santa can’t decide which address to deliver to.”
8. “What is Claudia Winkleman’s favourite part of Christmas dinner? The taters.”
9. “Does Celia Imrie beat her family at Christmas party games? Yes, she trumps them all.”
10. “Where has Santa been more than Nigel Farage? His house in Clacton.”
Source: Mirror
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