Junaid Ahmed opens up about the heartache of his past and the olive branch. he’d like to offer his family after being thrown out of the family home as a teen for coming out as gay
Junaid Ahmed has had a fun but feisty time since joining The Only Way Is Essex four years ago. But despite the on-screen dramas – and falling in love with his now live-in boyfriend Joe Blackman – it’s what happened to Junaid before he signed up to join the Essex cast that weighs on him most heavily. After coming out to his parents at 18, Junaid was essentially banished from his family home in Peterborough.
Shortly after leaving home and heading for Essex, he lost his older brother and “best friend” in a drowning accident – and has had no contact with his parents or three younger siblings since then. As series 35 of the ITV2 reality show wraps, OK! exclusively catches up with Junaid, 30, to hear why he’s decided to address some unresolved traumas, and help others like him in the process…
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Junaid. You’ve had quite the ride on TOWIE. Do you think you’re ever misunderstood?
Well, I’m sassy, argumentative and I can hold my own! But it’s all a sort of mask to cover what’s really going on. I’ve had to fight my whole life for who I am, and my coping mechanism has been to fight back, fight back, fight back. But that’s going now, because I’m happy with who I am. I’ve found my happiness and I’m not insecure like I used to be. I think there’s a reason behind all the madness.
Why do you want to open up about life before TOWIE?
Well, as a kid I never saw someone from an Asian Muslim Pakistani background on TV, especially with my sexuality as well. I had no one I could look up to. I don’t feel that, as a population, we’re seen or heard enough. We’re going in the right direction but there’s so much more to do. I always knew I wanted to make a change.
Can you tell us about your own experience?
I knew that growing up in my strict Muslim household, and being gay, was going to be a challenging situation. I prepared myself for the worst and, sadly, it happened. I knew I was never going to be financially stable at 18, I knew I wasn’t going to have family support and that I was going to be left out in the cold and be homeless. I knew I’d hit rock bottom, and that’s exactly what happened.
Were you ever tempted to stay silent?
A lot of my closest friends told me that coming out would be the hardest thing I’d ever do, and asked me if I was strong enough. To lose everything for my happiness? And the answer was “yes”. I knew I needed to live authentically, and I also knew what I’d lose.
You haven’t had contact with your family since, have you?
No, nothing. I’ve been thinking about my mum a lot recently. I miss her a lot, we were like best friends, so I think this is something I want to address sooner rather than later. I’d love a reconciliation with my mum.
Do you feel any resentment about them cutting you off?
No, I don’t blame my parents. The community we’re from is so tight, and the whole family, including my siblings, would’ve suffered a lot if they hadn’t done what they did. They would’ve all been shut out from the wider community, so if me going away by myself and making a new life for myself meant my family would be protected, I was prepared to do that.
What’s your relationship like with your faith?
Even at my lowest I prayed every day for peace and happiness. It’s the same thing I pray for every morning now. I still enjoy going to the mosque every day that I can, too. I’m in my own world when I’m in the mosque and I have my own relationship with God. I sit there, find peace and leave happy. You don’t need to lose your faith just because you’re gay.
You’ve shared a lot about your religion on TOWIE…
I will always bring my religion and culture to my life, work, relationships, my friendships. Joe knows to leave me alone for those few minutes in the morning and the evening when I’m praying. He’s so respectful and in tune with my faith.
Do you receive DMs from other men in your situation?
I receive thousands of messages from gay Muslim guys. It’s beautiful because so many of them are inspired by what I’ve done. I’ve had messages saying, “We live our life through you,” and tell me I make a difference to unheard and unseen people. It makes me realise why I do what I do. I want to make a difference. I want to make a change.
Do you offer advice?
I do engage because I wish I’d had someone I could message when I was younger. If someone tells me they want to tell their family, I’ll say it’s never going to be easy, but there is light at the end of the tunnel and you can live a happy, authentic life.
What do you think the future holds for you now?
I’d love to do some educational-style documentaries on the Muslim faith, and what it’s like to be Muslim and gay, to let them know there is help. The goal would be a community of openly gay Muslims out there living their authentic lives. I don’t want us to be the minority. I want us to be like everyone else, living our best lives.
Source: Mirror
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