Singer Rachel Stevens discusses being pushed into the spotlight as a young adult, raising her two daughters, dealing with loss, and what makes her happy in her romantic union.
Rachel Stevens is a member of one of the most cherished pop groups of the 1990s and the early noughties with a lot to be proud of. During her time with S Club 7, she landed two Brit awards, achieved album sales of more than 10 million worldwide and enjoyed a string of Top 5 hits.
The singer is in a particularly reflective mood when we catch up for an exclusive photo shoot with her the day before her 47th birthday, and she acknowledges that it took her a long time to celebrate her accomplishments. She tells OK!, “I entered the public eye when I really had a shaky sense of self.” during our exclusive photoshoot.
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“At that time of life, you’re at a point where you’re finding yourself and finding your way. It’s difficult for us to give ourselves credit and claim to be proud of our accomplishments, and I’ve talked about it extensively in my therapy. In those sessions, I was told a lot about giving myself a break and putting an end to my self-attachment.
” So actually, now I can say that I’m really proud of myself. That comes with self-improvement and self-improvement, or the ability to feel that. There will be some heartfelt moments, like when a mine song plays on the radio and the kids are proud of me for it all. Or when we were back on tour and got to experience the impact S Club had on those fans who are older now, but they were kids at the time – you saw what it meant to them and just realised how special it is. How many things did we accomplish in our careers is easy to forget. We really sucked a lot in.
Since the group’s dissolution in 2004, Rachel hasn’t stopped. She has collaborated on clothing and make-up projects, finished second on Strictly Come Dancing in 2008, scouted for talent with Melanie Blatt on the X Factor in New Zealand, made a brief appearance with S Club 7 and is now the mother of Amelie, 14 and Minnie, 11.
After years of learning to quieten her inner critic, the Rachel we’re seeing today has a definite air of contentment – but it’s clear she hasn’t lost any of her star quality and she shines as the consummate professional on our set.
Her main motivation for resuming her public life is the publication of her autobiography, Finding My Voice, which details her struggles with self-worth and self-belief, which were frequently hidden behind her confident smile and the enthusiasm for S Club’s accomplishments. She claims that some significant events in her life, including her divorce from Minnie and Amelie’s father, Alex Bourne, in 2022, have also been a source of reassessment and learning because she is older and wiser.
“My life has drastically changed over the past few years,” Rachel says. With divorce, moving, selling our family home, my life has really taken a whole new direction. Although my main concern has always been my children, having them is my top priority has not. So it’s really important to me right now to feel organized, feel in charge, and make time for myself. I think a lot of people, especially women and mums, can relate to the idea that we often feel we need to be everything for everyone else, and always be there for everyone else, but actually I need to fill my own cup so I can be the best mum, the best friend, whatever it is.
I didn’t really learn that much as a child growing up, so having strong boundaries is important to me now. It can take us a long time, especially as women, to find our own place, our own strength, and our own story, in my opinion. Sometimes we look for external things to fill our cups up. However, as I matured and fully understood my limits and what I value, you also evolve, change, and discover what is truly valuable.
Rachel openly acknowledges that regular therapy has been a key component of her self-improvement and the key to her voice-finding. She’s had the same therapist for a number of years and a result, she’s become a “sort of life coach and mother figure”.
“It’s always been very challenging for me to talk and open up.” As I get older, I’ve learned that it’s okay to talk and to share, because I tend to overthink things a lot. “So I’m very grateful for having an outlet once a week to share and unpack some stuff with someone I trust and is my sort of constant, especially when it feels like life is going at a 100 miles an hour”.
A relaxing bath, a glass of wine with friends, a movie, and a takeaway with Brendyn Hatfield, a professional ice skater, are all that Rachel needs. Another popular date night activity involves making time for one-on-one time with both her daughters, as well as one for herself and Brendyn, who she describes to us as a “lovely human being, a lovely soul,” and Rachel makes sure to do so.
She recently made the transition from her home to her new home, and she and her daughters, Brendyn, are both enjoying it. Her family bathroom and dressing room are at the top of the list, and she is in style as a lover of interior design. “We’ve got lots of plans to make it a home together and with the girls”, she says. We’re just getting settled because it’s quite a new construction but has a lot of character, which I enjoy.
She lists time alone as one of her top priorities, but she explains that it is a more recent addition to her life. “I’ve realised how much I actually need space and time by myself, just to slow down. Although it’s so simple to prioritize everything else, I am aware of how crucial it is to schedule dates with the girls and Brendyn and me so that nothing else is negotiable.
At 11 and 14, Minnie and Amelie are not a million miles away from the age when Rachel became famous to a generation of pop fans in the late 1990s, alongside bandmates Tina Barrett, Paul Cattermole, Hannah Spearritt, Bradley McIntosh, Jon Lee and Jo O’Meara. Twenty five years after their first success, the group promised a much-wanted dose of 90s nostalgia by announcing an anniversary reunion tour. But just a few months before the first show, Paul died suddenly from heart failure at 46, so the tour was delayed and rebranded as the Good Times Tour in his honour.
Rachel is now at ease discussing her own grief as the anniversary of his death draws near. “I think it comes in many different forms, but the thing I’ve learnt is to give yourself space for how you feel and to be kind to yourself about it and to talk to people”, she says. “It was amazing to have him on tour and celebrate him.” It was a special opportunity for us to grieve and also grieve together, and we were able to share all of his amazing memories. It was really healing”.
When Rachel responds to our request to describe her parenting experience, particularly as she adjusts to significant life changes, she replies, “I think navigating is a really good word to use.” There is a lot of navigating, a lot of change, and a lot of new experiences. Your kids are constantly evolving and needing different things at different times and you just have to go with it”.
She laughs, but both the girls are “amazing” and the girls are like chalk and cheese. And with Amelie now into her teenage years, the irony of the sudden boost in hormones in the house isn’t lost on her.
“We mothers are entering our very hormonal perimenopausal phase and our children are entering their teenage, hormonal, and puberty phases,” she says. It implies that our home has a lot of moving parts, and I’m aware that this may sound overused, but I’m really just trying to be the best mother I can be right now. Something really important I learnt in therapy is ‘ don’t talk’. Giving the girls the opportunity to speak and have space is what works for us. They have a voice, and I want to let them know how they feel the way things are working.
Something Rachel is especially tuned into is the messages she sends her daughters about body confidence, boundaries and values. In hindsight, she recognises that her younger self was very much “all about the external”, mainly because she grew up in the spotlight and the result has been “a lot of unpacking of a lot of stuff” to reach a happier and healthier place.
“It was all about the looks when I was growing up. They became such a big part of who I was. Looking became such a significant aspect of my life because I sort of buried everything that was happening inside. It was all about the external when I started the job I did. For me it’s been about finding the right balance with it. I’ll continue to strive for whatever makes me feel that, despite the fact that I want to age gracefully and embrace it. I’m sure there will be external issues, but I’m also sure there will be a lot of internal issues.
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Source: Mirror
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