Following her devastating breakup with Stranger Things husband David Harbour, Lily Allen has spoken out about the decline in her mental health in British Vogue.
Lily Allen has revealed that she found herself in the midst of despair facing suicidal thoughts when it emerged that her husband, Stranger Things actor David Harbour, had been having a three-year affair behind her back. The singer and mum of two publicly split with her husband in December.
But she was just about to go back in when this happened.
In a new interview with British Vogue, ahead of the release of her latest studio album, she admitted that she put herself into rehab as she was feeling as though she “wanted to die.”
At the height of finding out that her husband, who she married in Las Vegas in September 2020, had been cheating on her, Lily revealed that she refused to use drink and drugs to ease the pain. A method that had worked for her in the past.
She explained to the fashion magazine, “I was feeling very depressed right now.” It was agonizing to sit with those feelings and choose not to use them because I last experienced them when I felt anything like that.
In a desperate effort to resist the temptation to use outdated coping mechanisms to deal with her heartache, Lily, 40, made the brave decision to check herself into rehab.
She continued, “I’ve entered those areas before against my will, and I think that’s progress.” That’s strength, she says, “on her self awareness.” I was like, “I need some time away,” when I realized that the things I was feeling were too extreme to handle.
Lily openly acknowledged that it was because of the fact that “I wanted to die” when she checked herself in.
The singer claimed that things were “really, really, really bad” in the wake of her breakup and that the star had a troubled relationship with food in the past.
She continued, “I was feeling very depressed right now. It was agonizing to sit with those feelings and choose not to use them because I last experienced them when I felt anything like that.
With an upcoming album modeled after her marriage to Stranger Things actor David, Lily, who has two daughters with her first ex-husband Sam Cooper, plans to rekindle her musical career.
But one of her songs, Sleepwalking, features her heartache over discovering that he had been having an affair with her.
You made me believe I was me in my head and not some girl in your bed, the song’s lyrics say.
She also wrote, “You know I used to be quite famous, that was way back then, and I probably should explain how my marriage has been open since my husband went wrong,” in a song called Dallas Major.
However, when the publication inquired as to whether the songs were her way of directly addressing her ex, she replied, “There are things on the record that I experienced within my marriage, but that’s not to say that it’s all gospel. What transpired in the relationship serves as inspiration for it.
She claimed she felt a mix of “confusion, sorrow, grief, helplessness” when she wrote the notes for her most recent album in seven years.
From Tuesday, October 21st, you can download the full feature from the November issue of British Vogue.
*If you’re struggling and need to talk, the Samaritans operate a free helpline open 24/7 on 116 123. Alternatively, you can email jo@samaritans.org or visit their site to find your local branch
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Source: Mirror
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