‘Last rites and alarm bells drown out England’s good vibes’

English cricket makes its final appearance in the winter.

Karachi, where England will exit the Champions Trophy after Saturday’s game against South Africa, is known as the City of Lights. Their last visit, the completion of a 3-0 Test series win in Pakistan in 2022, was Bazball’s brightest moment. Brendon McCullum and his team are now unable to remove the dark clouds.

Adele could write an album about how miserable England’s 2025 has been so far.

The end of 2024 wasn’t much better. The Twenty20 World Cup was boycotted by the women, and Pakistani men were forced to leave. Ben Stokes’ men claimed a respectable win in New Zealand before stumbling to a stag-do of a performance in the final Test in Hamilton, which Heather Knight’s side at least won in South Africa.

Since the turn of the year it has been a shambles: the women thrashed all over Australia, the men one win from 10 in McCullum’s new white-ball era. Andrew Flintoff’s Lions were hammered in South Africa and the Under-19 women were well beaten in a World Cup semi-final by India. Thank goodness Archie Vaughan’s Under-19 men won their Test series against South Africa.

Before diving into this, it’s probably wise to clarify a few things: All of us, including fans, media, and pundits, want England to perform well. We care. It hurts when they lose.

I should add that I have never met an England player who isn’t desperate to succeed. There is a sense of self-preservation at play, but they might forget that the England team is there for everyone, not just the dressing room staff. Both careers and dreams are at stake. Professional sport is cut-throat.

Additionally, we must be cautious not to rewrite history. Both in terms of the results and the attitudes toward the men’s national team, McCullum was a breath of fresh air for English cricket. It seemed a no-brainer to put him in charge of the white-ball side, largely because any other coach would have existed in the New Zealander’s shadow.

As the years 2024 and 2025 passed, both teams’ results changed, and lingering doubts turned into real worries.

Will Ben Stokes regain his original health? Issy Wong no longer exists. Why was Josh Hull picked? How did Flintoff transition from a TV host to a coaching position with the country’s most well-known names? Why did Dan Lawrence open the batting? When Kate Cross had the best opportunity for a youngster to develop in Ireland, why did she lead England? Who authorized the signing of one Pakistani Champions Trophy frontrunner? What is going on with Shoaib Bashir’s bowling? Why do England’s women catch so many fish? We could go on and on.

The England national teams have recurring themes throughout. The men have been accused of lacking sufficient training, and the women have been accused of lacking it. Both charges are probably unfair, yet the players don’t help their public image.

The men’s talk about golf is getting old, and the women were pictured on a boat party at the T20 World Cup in Dubai. These England teams are not lazy, though they can be slapdash.

The rhetoric is maddening, too. Even a jobbing journalist can be inspired by the inspiring words of many legendary leaders who have successfully paired public praise with private criticism. However, some of the men’s utterations end up in Australia’s fans and opposition, while the women were utterly insane. The likes of Harry Brook and Ben Duckett will never be far from a crass soundbite, and Lewis “Bondi to Coogee Walk” will forever be remembered.

If England teams win, none of this matters. They are not, so Rob Key and Clare Connor, the men’s and women’s cricket directors, have to think about it.

It seems like Connor will be looking for a head coach for women’s soccer. Up until the end of the month, an Ashes review is still being conducted. Knight may continue serving as captain, at least in part because of how well-versed she is in leadership and how poorly England has planned for succession. Whoever is in charge must exploit Sophie Ecclestone both on and off the pitch, and whether England has the structural framework necessary to keep up with the Australians is another issue.

On one hand, it is harsh to compare the current white-ball team to the class of 2019, England’s greatest team led by their greatest captain Eoin Morgan.

On the other hand, it is undeniable that a white-ball empire has crumbled on Key’s watch. It is not his fault domestic 50-over cricket has been marginalised, but the treatment of David Willey, dropping of Sam Curran and Reece Topley, overlooking of Liam Dawson, obsession with pace over skill, lack of death bowlers and left-handed batters all fall at his door. With as many wicketkeepers as frontline bowlers, how did England win the Champions Trophy?

Greater alignment increases the chance of a rift between the Test and the White-ball set-up, which was once there. Before the one-off Test against Zimbabwe at Trent Bridge in May, there is at least a decent break.

Until then, questions abound. Has England let Mark Wood out of a competition that he probably shouldn’t have been participating in? What condition does Stokes’ hamstring belong to? Can Bashir replace England’s need for spin in Australia? Can Zak Crawley reach double figures? Will Jacob Bethell be replaced by Ollie Pope, the test vice-captain?

None of this gloom needs to be terminal. The new domestic structure will be very beneficial for women’s tennis, and the men have a good chance of winning their five-test series against India. The Ashes next winter has all the ingredients to be a classic, and there are plenty of young male and female talent emerging.