Because she feared she might pass away, Davina McCall explained how she changed her Will to include heartfelt letters to her children in it.
However, her overarching sentiment was that she was happy for her family and that everything would go well whatever happened next rather than that she was scared when she had her cyst removed in the operating room. “I’m grateful. Life will never be the same again, but in rather a good way”, the TV host says in a teary interview, her first since the operation in November.
She adds: “There’s that saying, ‘ A life lived in fear is a life half-lived’. If you don’t really want to do something, don’t do it. But if there’s something that you want to do, yeah, do it. Create a bucket list right away.
” When I did one with my sister, Caroline, we wrote a really sweet, lovely bucket list. Before any of it could be accomplished, she passed away. When we pass away, why do we make bucket lists? Write the bucket list now, in your thirties, and go, ‘ What is my bucket list? Like, what do I want to do before I die? ‘ And let’s start doing it now. “
Davina, the host of shows like Long Lost Family and The Masked Singer, was given a free health scan after giving a talk on menopause when she discovered the colloid cyst. She then had to decide when to have the tumor removed because it had risks associated with the procedure but “very rarely” it can lead to sudden death.
Davina then describes how she initially felt the tumor “had taken hold of me” and that it had caused her to feel like she was in danger every day. However, she overcame it, using the tumor Jeffrey as a coping mechanism. She even organized parties for Jeffrey to try to remain upbeat and to minimize the significance of the tumor.
Davina then had to choose the procedure and ensure that she understood the risks involved. She quickly began to make plans with her partner Michael Douglas after speaking with her about her own mortality. Davina explains:” I said, ‘ Look, I’ve got to plan for it if it doesn’t go according to plan’.
“When I’d spoken to the doctors, they talked about things like stroke, epilepsy, these being risks. There were many possible risks associated with a bleed, such as a bleed in an artery or blood vessel in the brain. And obviously, because of my age, you know, I’m fifty-seven.
That was another factor that piqued my interest. I was thinking, you know, ‘ Would you rather have brain surgery now, or if it grew in eight years ‘ time, would you want to have it in your mid-to-late sixties? Wouldn’t it be preferable to do it right away while you’re physically fit and healthy in every other way? “So yes, we had that talk quite soon.
“And I did go to my will, making sure it was airtight,” I said. Michael and I discussed my wishes. I included wishes in my will for all the children I had.
“And I made sure that when I went to sleep before the operation, I could trust in Kevin (O’Neill, her neurosurgeon) and let go of the outcome.
” And I really got there. Like, I really went to sleep and thought, ‘ Everything will be okay, whatever happens. ‘ And it felt like I’d climbed a mountain, but it was a good mountain to climb, you know? Like, I really meant it. “
On her beloved children – Holly, 23, Tilly, 21, and 18-year-old Chester – and the thought of death, she adds:” I mean, the thing you really want to do is have your mum around when you have babies, get married. Christmases with grandchildren… I mean, I can’t wait for grandkids.
“Those are the things I would be sad about,” he said. But what I was trying to avoid doing was to consider things I might miss. I was trying to think about, ‘ How would they cope if I didn’t make it? Who would they be surrounded by? Who would support them? Where would they live? ‘ Really, I tried not to think too much about what I would miss because it just made me feel too depressed.
” Weirdly, I’d thought about it so much that actually my final thought about it was that they’re surrounded by love and family and Michael, but also they’re really great kids. Like, I just thought, “You guys… it will be devastating, but you will all be okay”. And I just had that feeling. They’re good kids. They’re smart. That was such a nice feeling. I don’t mean smart as in clever. I mean in life. Robust. Yes, they make me very proud. And you know, it’s interesting because I’ve wanted to tell my mother a lot about me. That’s why I became famous. That was the whole reason. But it’s really nice to be able to tell my kids that all the time about them. It’s amazing. But through this… it has made me immensely proud of all of them. “
Davina revealed the emotional rollercoaster she faced and the profound effects it had had on her close relationships while speaking to Steven Bartlett about the relaunch of her podcast Begin Again with him.
The thoughtful TV personality even set up a special Whatsapp group for her to share updates with her family and friends so they wouldn’t know if she passed away before the news was made public.
Davina said:” Do you know what I was thinking when I made the WhatsApp group, is who do I… if something bad happened, who do I not want to hear it from a paper?
“So, I was kind of thinking, in a way, I want them to hear good things. Before anyone else, I want to hear the news first. And that was my list of people. And it was, you know, people like you, who I work with, who I really care about. Additionally, my family members are undoubtedly present. And putting that list together made a lot of sense because I realized how many people in my life really matter.
” It was funny with Chester because he’s the youngest. He’s eighteen. And it was only when I came home, he was like, ‘ I didn’t realise how serious it was. ‘ I said, ‘ Well, I’m pleased, you know, because look, here I am and it all went well and it was fine. ‘
“But in a way, there was part of me that was thinking, ‘ If it hadn’t been fine, he would have struggled the most'”. Davina is feeling optimistic now that her operation was successful. She continues, “It hasn’t changed me forever, but I’ve learned things about myself that I wouldn’t have learned without this operation or the cyst.” In two years, I’m pretty certain that I will consider it to be one of my greatest blessings.
After the operation in December, Davina was seen on social media saying she felt “more like herself”. She also filmed herself at the gym in January as a “keep fit fanatic.”
She acknowledges that returning to work after the interview was difficult because she was “mildly institutionalized by my home.” She expressed her gratitude to followers on social media this week and said she was overwhelmed by the volume of messages received.
Wherever you pick up your podcasts, brand-new Begin Again episodes will drop on Thursdays at 8am GMT.
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Source: Mirror
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