Avicii – real name Tim Bergling – shocked the world when he took his own life in 2018. Seven years on, there are still so many questions about the talented star’s frame of mind at the time of his death
It’s seven years today since Tim Bergling – better known as the chart-topping DJ Avicii – tragically took his own life at the age of just 28. The Swedish star had publicly battled alcohol and painkiller addictions to manage his increasing anxiety and crippling depression, as his beloved work subsumed his life.
Avicii’s death sparked a global outpouring of grief from fans, as well as fury towards his management team who had allowed him to play more than 800 gigs in eight years, racking up hundreds of thousands of air miles as the exhausted star jetted around the world to play his music to millions.
Tim had spoken publicly about his battle with booze, telling American GC in 2013: “You are travelling around, you live in a suitcase, you get to this place, there’s free alcohol everywhere – it’s sort of weird if you don’t drink.
“I was so nervous. I just got into a habit, because you rely on that encouragement and self-confidence you get from alcohol, and then you get dependent on it. “
At the height of his fame, Tim was living on alcohol, cigarettes, Red Bull and junk food as his demanding schedule took him from country to country. He had a wake-up call in January 2012 when he developed agonising abdominal pain and was rushed to hospital in New York.
There he was diagnosed with acute pancreatitis caused by alcohol abuse and was forced to spend 11 days inside, taking a break from the relentless pace of his famous life.
After quitting the bottle on the advice of his doctors, Tim took up his frenetic schedule again, but was hospitalised for the second time while touring in Australia in March 2013. He was advised to have his gallbladder removed, but declined because he wanted to go back to the studio.
By this point the star was “starting to hate DJing”, he told pals. While alcohol was no longer his crutch, Tim was starting to get hooked on painkillers to treat his growing anxiety. Meanwhile, friends were worried about his mental and physical health, but the star pressed on with plans to tour Europe that summer, jetting to nine different countries in 10 days to meet his commercial obligations.
The following March, Tim’s gallbladder and appendix ruptured just before he was due to fly to Miami for a slew of top gigs. He was forced to undergo emergency surgery to have both organs removed, pulling out of the 2014 Ultra Music Festival to recover.
Doctors gave him the highly addictive opioid Percocet to help with the pain, but just two weeks after the operation Tim was performing again. “I was on all these kinds of medications,” he said in the 2017 documentary about his life Avicii: True Stories, “and they were saying, ‘Oh, this is fine. This is not addictive. ‘ I was taking all these pills that weren’t meant to be addictive… and they made me feel more anxious. “
Tim fell into a rabbit hole of opioid dependence, even trying to wean himself off Percocet by using the replacement treatment Suboxone, but became hooked on that too. Recognising he needed time off his manic schedule, Tim flew to Stockholm to be with his family for a month, but when he returned to Los Angeles towards the end of 2014, his addictions flared up again and he sought out Hollywood doctors to write prescriptions for various opioids.
In March 2016, Avicii shocked fans when he announced his retirement from touring. His decision was met with concern – and not a little frustration from those who were desperate to see him perform live. Within months, Tim was looking healthier and seemed to be in a better place mentally.
“I’m happier, more stress-free than I’ve been in a long time,” he told Billboard at the time. Finally, Tim had the time and space to do what he loved the most: make music away from the crowds.
Tragically, on April 20, 2018, Tim took his own life. He had left LA for Oman on April 8, messaging his former manager Arash Pournouri to tell him how excited he was for the future and his music, and told his friend that he hoped to see him soon, either in Stockholm or LA.
While he was in Oman, Tim stayed at the luxury Muscat Hills Resort, where he kitesurfed, went sailing with friends and even took pictures with fans. The resort said in a statement after his death that Tim “did seem to be in good spirits while enjoying his time” and that “he was also very friendly with everyone”.
He was also emailing his management team, making plans about artists he wanted to collaborate with for new music projects, and asking hotel staff for recommendations of the best places to visit in Oman.
Sadly, while his conversations appeared to be normal, Tim’s diary entries point to a darker frame of mind. He had taken up transcendental meditation, which is the silent repetition of a sound or mantra, but the practice had taken him to a “scary” place, he wrote.
“It feels like I am in a new default mode of being which is very new and a little bit scary. It felt like the fears the last couple of days caused havoc in me, but I remember the tip to focus on my breathing,” he told his diary.
Tim’s mental state fluctuated, and a friend he’d made in Oman took the decision to ring Tim’s father and let him know that the star wasn’t eating or speaking.
After Tim’s family managed to speak to him over the phone, one of his relatives jumped on a flight to Oman because they were so concerned about his health. Tragically, their plane touched down two hours too late.
Tim’s last sighting was on the evening of April 19 when hotel worker Samiha Al Aboodi saw him standing in the reception area. “He was in good spirits and very polite,” she recalled. “He was at the reception when I stopped to ask if it was really him. ” The diary entry from that day reads: “The shedding of the soul is the last attachment before it restarts! “
The following afternoon, Tim’s body was found in his room. He had taken his own life, and seven years on, it’s still unclear what the trigger was.
His father Klas Bergling later said the family’s theory was that Tim hadn’t travelled to Oman to die. “Our theory is not that he planned this suicide — more that it was like a traffic accident,” he told CNN. “Many things happened and came into the same station, so to say, and brought him out of his control. “
Klas added: “When he was in a bad situation he always used to call me. We talked a lot [about] his thoughts about life, his thoughts about meditation, love … we had long talks, often one hour or so, over the ocean.”
“If you are very happy or extremely happy, it’s not so far to be unhappy… small things can make you sad or move your balance, and I think this is what happened. “
In a suicide note, Avicii told his loved ones he “couldn’t go on any longer,” and following his tragic death, his devastated family said their son wanted ‘peace’.
“Our beloved Tim was a seeker, a fragile artistic soul searching for answers to existential questions,” they said in a statement. “An over-achieving perfectionist who travelled and worked hard at a pace that led to extreme stress.
“When he stopped touring, he wanted to find a balance in life to be able to be happy and to do what he loved most – music. He really struggled with thoughts about Meaning, Life, Happiness. He could now not go on any longer. He wanted to find peace.
“Tim was not made for the business machine he found himself in; he was a sensitive guy who loved his fans but shunned the spotlight. Tim, you will forever be loved and sadly missed. The person you were and your music will keep your memory alive. “
Source: Mirror
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