Archive November 2, 2025

Erling Haaland is a big Peter Crouch fan, but is he actually a robot?

After Manchester City’s impressive Premier League victory over shaky Bournemouth on Sunday, fans may have to wonder whether that is true or not.

The Norwegian striker was a goal-scorer after failing to score in last weekend’s defeat at Aston Villa, but he returned with a ruthlessly effective first-half double against the Cherries. He only had a second failure this season.

Haaland did prove he was still human by skipping a few chances to complete his hat-trick, if he is concealing any nuts and bolts beneath those blonde locks of his.

However, many fans were in awe of the 25-year-old’s prowess in front of goal, which led to his team’s second-placed opener, which was a robot dance.

When he scored and then celebrated in a similar manner, it reminded me of the iconic moves of the towering former Liverpool and England forward Crouch.

After that, Crouch joked, “I walked so they could run,” while Haaland replied, “Guess I couldn’t hide it any longer.”

However, the humorous exchange fails to distract from Haaland’s incredible goalscoring accomplishments, which total 26 for both club and country and are currently 13 in the league, eight of which are home doubles.

City manager Pep Guardiola compared Haaland’s remarkable accomplishments to those of the two contemporary footballing legends after welcoming his striker with a warm embrace at full-time.

When asked if he had reached Cristiano Ronaldo’s and Lionel Messi’s levels, the Spaniard replied, “Have you seen that guy’s numbers? He has, of course.

Cristiano and Messi have been doing the same for 15 years, Messi still scores two or three goals per game, and Cristiano in Saudi Arabia, the same. That’s the level.

The ball is slashed down on the grass, and he says, “I am going to score this.” He is incredibly coachable, and I’ve said it before, and I’m sometimes tough with him.

With six Premier League titles in the last eight seasons and a Champions League title in 2023, City have also been a relentless winning force themselves, aside from the glitch from last season, which saw them fail to win a significant trophy.

With speed, agility, and clinical finishing, Haaland has a force that can annihilate defenses.

City’s first in ten games ended with a 1-0 defeat at Villa Park, and he has not forgotten that blip despite winning games against Swansea and Bournemouth in the process.

When asked if he felt unstoppable, Haaland responded, “I didn’t score last game.” I want to see the team succeed, but that’s not how I want it.

As long as we are winning games, it doesn’t matter if we are scoring, helping, or winning duels. My job is to help the team improve as a football team.

Haaland’s numbers for this term differ significantly. Les Ferdinand for Newcastle was the only player to score 13 goals in the opening 10 Premier League games, while Haaland for himself managed 15. In 2022, Les Ferdinand was the only other player to score 15.

He accounts for 65% of City’s goals in the top flight and Champions League, scoring 17 of their 26 goals across the two competitions, and has the highest xG (9.20) in the league without drawing a penalty.

This is what we must do, Guardiola said, “to give him the chances and the passes.” He is aware of this, but we are so fortunate and blessed to have him because he is the most generous and sweet.

And he’ll get better. After that, the player’s numbers are simply outstanding.

There has been much criticism of City’s excessive reliance on Haaland and the need for other players to “step up” and score more goals.

Journalist Julien Laurens told BBC Radio 5 Live, “Of course you want others to join in, and they will eventually.”

Haaland will be licking his lips when Rayan Cherki and Haaland cross paths on Sunday, where the Frenchman scored both of his goals with skillful assists.

The 22-year-old scored for Wolves in the opening game, but he has only recently returned to action following a six-week layoff with a thigh injury.

Erling and I are one and the same. It’s very simple when I play with him and he with me,” Cherki, who moved to Lyon last summer, said.

Erling says, “Give the ball to him and he will score.”

Their partnership with Bournemouth represented a promising sign of things to come for City’s attack and opposition managers, who will now have to deal with Cherki’s caliber as well as figure out how to shackle Haaland.

Andoni Iraola, the manager of Bournemouth, said that his performance against Haaland was “almost impossible.” He is very quick when you release the press at the back and press higher.

You run out of superlatives, ex-england goalkeeper Paul Robinson said on BBC Radio 5 Live. Erling Haaland may face criticism for not involving himself enough in the game.

However, if he stays in the Premier League, he will score a ridiculous number of goals and eventually break all kinds of records.

Shay Given, an ex-City goalkeeper, stated: “Erling Haaland wants to be the best striker in Premier League history, the best player in Norwegian history, and probably the best player in the world.

Rangers have asked the Scottish FA to explain Auston Trusty’s dismissal during the Ibrox side’s 3-1 League Cup semi-final defeat at Hampden.

Prior to this controversy, head coach Danny Rohl had previously preferred to concentrate on his team’s “outstanding” response to losing to 10 men.

With Celtic already leading 1-0 at half-time, Thelo Aasgaard was sent off shortly before half-time, but Rangers fought back and won 3-1 over their city rivals in extra time.

The Norway midfielder was widely believed to be entitled to dismissal, but some surprised that Trusty and Anthony Ralston didn’t follow him in later incidents.

Right-back Ralston handled the ball, conceding a penalty, while Trusty was already on a yellow card, and he hit Rangers goalkeeper Jack Butland on the head with an errant boot.

According to Rohl, “It is not my position to speak about decisions,”

After working their way back into the semi-final, there was, however, an air of what might have been in the Rangers’ dressing room at Hampden.

We had the impression that we could defeat them, even with just 10 men, Rohl said, and we are struggling with this.

We put a lot of effort into it, played a lot of good football, and were brave in the second half.

We had our moments and we were in a more offensive posture. I believed the equaliser was deserved because we were not just sitting back.

“Then you enter extra time and lose 2-1, but even then, we had two chances when we had one against one.”

Since Russell Martin’s replacement, Rohl has won four games in the league, with Brann’s Europa League and now Celtic’s other losses.

The German, however, notices positive trends.

He claimed that “our response to the red card was outstanding.” However, with 10 men and my team working hard, it is a long time, 55 minutes, and then extra time.

Former Scotland internationals Billy Dodds and James McFadden both believed that Celtic’s centre-back Trusty was fortunate to only receive a yellow card just before the break when his boot struck Butland.

Dodds said on Sportsound, “He just rakes his studs across Butland’s face.”

If he had been sent off, “you would have really leveled things up,” he said, “and you would have been wondering what might have happened.”

Dodds also believed that James Tavernier should have scored the penalty that James Tavernier scored just nine minutes before normal time from Ralston should have received a second yellow card for the handball.

The former Rangers forward claimed that he threw himself to intentionally block the ball. Nick Walsh, I don’t believe, covered himself in glory.

He continued on Sportsound, “It contributes to the end result, but he shows as a manager he knows what he’s doing.”

He clearly has a lot to work with because he faced hardship and he was successful in putting attackers in midfield.

Dodds, who was previously on the Ibrox coaching staff last term, thinks there are indications Rohl “has the players onside.” McFadden has already seen progress under the former Sheffield Wednesday manager.

However, issues persist as they play Roma before moving on to domestic action, 14 points adrift of Celtic and Hearts, who are currently in the lead.

At Hampden, Wolverhampton Wanderers center-back Nasser Djiga, who was on loan, was constantly exposed, and £8 million striker Youssef Chermiti once more struggled to perform.

Dodds claimed that “they didn’t start well.” They were pinged back, but because of how much better their second-half was, does he now go back to a four?

“When you are focused and have to defend one-on-one situations, Rangers can do it against Celtic because you have to be so focused,” he asks, “does he keep with a five to be more secure, or does he go back to a four because it shows that.”

West Ham supporters almost lacked belief.

When gallows humor swept across the London Stadium, their team had just come out of the woods and defeated Newcastle United 2-1.

“How bad must you be?” As the first half came to an end, thousands of fans chanted in agreement. “We’re winning at home,” yelled the president!

Of course, the language was slightly more effective, but West Ham were on course for a home victory for the first time in nearly nine months.

Tomas Soucek, who had been substituted, made sure of that when he scored his team’s third goal in stoppage time.

However, Newcastle’s fate was already well and truly sealed that day.

To believe this team had just won three major league games against Tottenham, Fulham, and Benfica, just three days earlier.

However, Eddie Howe’s side hasn’t won a game away from St James’ Park since April.

Few people anticipated this outcome.

West Ham’s formidable opponent may have had a protracted period of preparation for this match, but Newcastle have the luxury of having a strong squad.

Following his midweek changeup against Spurs, Howe made six adjustments and was able to make Anthony Gordon, Joelinton, Sven Botman, Bruno Guimaraes, Nick Pope, and Jacob Murphy.

You wouldn’t have known, though.

Even though the Newcastle players technically covered 116.85 kilometers overall, they did not appear to be as intense as they once were after Murphy gave them an early lead.

The visitors repeatedly disregarded the ball. The midfield trio, who is frequently hailed as one of the best in the league, failed to take control of the game. There were no other characteristics of this side, which had pace and power in every field.

Howe remarked, “I didn’t like the group’s body language.”

Before West Ham leveled, goalkeeper Pope was forced to make significant saves to deny both Lucas Paqueta and Max Kilman, but those warnings failed to bring Newcastle out of their sleep.

An equaliser was in order by the time Paqueta scored.

Newcastle would have pushed for more if they had taken such a lead early on. By failing to kick off, they gave West Ham and the crowd encouragement at London Stadium.

West Ham supporters instead of deciding to turn their back on the board after the game and stage a sit-in protest against it instead.

West Ham manager Nuno Espirito Santo said, “The fans saw something from the team.” We want this, exactly. In this manner should the situation be viewed.

By the time Botman turned Aaron Wan-Bissaka’s cross into his own net just before the break, Howe had long since seen enough.

At half-time, the Newcastle head coach could have used all of his five permitted changes, including Gordon, Nick Woltemade, and Emil Krafth.

He said, “I almost could have offended anyone.” It’s unusual for me to feel that way when we were playing at that particular moment in time. Since taking over as Newcastle manager, I don’t believe I’ve ever done so.

At half-time, I felt the team needed some shaking up. That’s why I did what I did.

However, the desired result was not achieved. In their previous eight away league games, Newcastle have now lost once.

Newcastle have visited a few testing facilities during that time, but Howe’s side have now failed to defeat Aston Villa (twice), Brighton (twice), Bournemouth, Arsenal, Leeds United, and West Ham.

Only Fulham, Nottingham Forest, and Wolves have scored fewer points this season on the road than Newcastle (3).

After the game, Howe had some “honest” words to say to his players.

However, the head coach was cautious about overacting, instead wishing that this particular defeat would serve as a turning point.

Nearly a year ago, when Newcastle were thrashed by Brentford, a similar defeat occurred in London.

In the lower half of the table, where they are now, Newcastle languishing as a result.

Newcastle then won seven games in a row across all competitions, including impressive away victories against Manchester United, Tottenham, and Arsenal.

And when they make a second-guess what they’ve already said, “I’ll need to summon that spirit again.”

On Sky Sports, goalscorer Murphy said, “People say look in the mirror, but we just go home and reflect.” You really need to remain calm at this time.